How I feel is concerned. I worry that he will come to my house and try to manipulate me as he has done over and over again. I used to fall for it but after 4 years of this continuous chaos I fall for it less and less.

No he does not live with me. I gave him an option three months before his 18th birthday. I gave him until then as I thought it was the right thing to do. Either clean up your act, go back to school or get a job, or your out. I had my other kids to think about. He had been breaking the law and doing drugs since age 13, hard drugs since 15 which I only found out about years later. I had to do something. He has been back many times but only for short stays waiting for treatment, another manipulation.

One Christmas he was on my deck crying, so depressed that I wouldn't let him in, said he was going to kill himself. (he's said that many times) how could I turn him away on Christmas. My heart was breaking. Once inside he opened his presents and complained about most of them. How much did you pay for this cheap thing, etc. etc. It was not an easy time.

Over the years I have taken him to counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, police mentors etc. He even had a stay in a youth hospital for acting out teens for 8 weeks. I went once a week and stayed over night and they worked with me to come up with strategies to deal with him. His school would not let him continue to attend unless he was medicated. He has had ongoing youth workers for years. They all say the same thing, I have way too much patience and need to let him go.

I know that I have never given up on him and have done everything humanly possible to help him. Including driving downtown and dragging him to the hospital, detox etc. all the while snarling at me and saying terrible things for interrupting his drug binge. I've paid for treatment centers. I have tried tough love, tried soft love, trying to understand him approach, talked and listened but nothing so far has worked.

I've been told that the entire family should cut him off and only then will he start to look at himself. It's way too easy for him to blame me for his problems when he is on drugs. I have been told I'm an enabler and I am. It's taken me a long time to step back and distance myself from him but that seems to be the only way to help him. I sure hope and pray he gets it soon.
Kate