Cathi,
I'm praying for your family. So much for one to deal with.

How old is your daughter? I somehow missed her age. I saw where she was 14, but somehow missed how old she is now. I hope she isn't still 14.

Tough love is never easy but often that's the only way. All you can do is put them in God's hands and have faith that he will look after them when you cannot be there.

Take care of yourself and know that God is with you.

Pam

Cathi,

We haven't met, as yet. But I understand, as much as I can, your feelings and concern for your daughter.

My son is a father, now. I have been surprised to learn that my love for him, my concern for him, remains the same as when he was a "minor" and under my care and guidence.

It's obvious from your posts, that you feel the same. I've come to believe that our sons and daughters are our children as long as we draw breath.

The issues they are facing may change, but we still want the very best for them. We want to protect them from all harm.

From your posts, I know that you are trying to protect your little bird, even though she's left the nest. You are trying so hard.

It's going to be okay. Really. We have so many resources now, people who are trained to help us with this kind of challenge.

And there are so many parents who understand and have lived through the very same trials as yours.

Isn't it wonderful that times have changed. Many people are willing to share their experiences with young adults.
It isn't an issue that has to be "hidden" any longer.

Well, you know you'll find support here, on these boards.

Take care of you, so that you can continue to help your daughter.

Love,
Emily

Dear Cathi,

We haven't met, as yet, so I'm very pleased to meet you.

I'm the mother of an adult child, who is a dad to two, wonderful boys.

I didn't have any problems with him using drugs (recently, he told be he did experiment).

I've come to the realization that our sons and daughters are our children,no matter their age.

It's natural to remain concerned -okay, worried - about every potenially negative decision they make.

In your situation, I can hear your worry and concern loud and clear.

What's wonderful now, what we didn't have way back when, is the support system available to adult children and their parents.

I know your daughter will be all right. She has you behind her.

But, you do need to take care of you, so that you can continue to support her.

Some really good books might divert your attention enough to "rest" your mind. Or movies, or needlework.

And, of course, the supportive women on these boards are always her for you.

Loe,
Emily

There are two posts from me. The board told me that the first would not be posted because my post was "no longer valid."

I tried to type fast and edit on the second post.

Turns out, both posts are on this forum!

Oh, well.

Love,
Emily

I am sorry I haven't had much time to post lately. Pam to answer your question, she is 18. She just turned 18 in April.

Thanks Emily, it is something I am trying to make peace with.

She is now visiting my parent's this weekend. They want to have a chance to have a say about this situation to her. She grew up with them and they did alot for her, so they deserved to have this chance.

Right now, she seems to be happy. I can't deny her that, especially if I was saying her whole life, I want her happy. My beef has been the way she went about it. Even so, her dad and I have to let this go and put it in the past.

But so far, everything seems okay now as far as she is concerned. I am worried about my dad. I just want him well and with us for as long as God will allow.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi Cathi,
Somehow I missed this earlier. How difficult for you! The thing that your children do teach you is that you have no control. It sounds like your daughter has some growing up to do and she's determined to do it her own way. Which, of course, is why she asks you for things and then goes away -- she can't figure out that her way isn't working, yet.

I send you patience, love and strict boundaries. I hope things get better with your health and your father's. That must be your main concern right now.

Peace and blessings

Cathi, maybe a few lightbulbs about the love of her family will go off for her this weekend and she will ahve a change of heart. Hang in there, We're hanging with you.