Cathi, I can hear the frustration in your voice. May I suggest you get together with a friend and go to a funny movie? You need a break from all this stress. Sometimes laughing helps. Try to take care of yourself during all of this if at all possible.

Ladies, do you have any suggestions about how Cathi should commnicate iwth her daughter? Do you think she needs to be rough and lay down the law (tough love) or do you think she should be very loving and let her know she is welcome home any time? Should she have a little speech prepared for the next time she calls? Just wondering and trying to figure out how we can be helpful...

Cathi, I'm curious about the woman she is staying with. They just met, right? And she is willing to take her in... Is that because she needs her to watch her kids? If so, don't you think it's odd to take in a total stranger and turn your kids over to her? I don't want to concern you. She could be a Good Samaritan, but I find it odd. I'm sure your daughter can win anyone over. I met her and she was very sweet, but I'm trying to picure myself taking in a total stranger and letting them watch my kids all day.

I just have to bring this up to you because it strikes me as odd. I hope you understand.

Hi ladies,

Sorry it took me a long time to get back. I've had another thing to deal with, and it was a matter of setting the priority for that.

My dad's C-scan came back last week and his tumor is staring to grow again. We were hoping to hear that the tumor stayed the way it was, or even better, the tumor shrunk even more. I am at thier house for the weekend and I took a day and half off work. I've been here since Thursday evening and I am leaving tomorrow back to Chesapeake. My dad had to have chemotherapy again, but this time it isn't as aggressive as before and he seems to be doing well right now. We'll see, he had the treatment yesterday.

To answer your question Dotsie, and it is a good question. She's known Sofia since April, and Sofia has watched the children for her prior to that. Besides, the oldest child is 10 or 11 years old. That's about 3 months they've known each other.

As for what to do. She is going to visit my parent's next weekend. They are going to make an effort to talk to her. We are all going to make sure we tell her, we are not going to bail her out anymore should she find herself in a tough situation. I've already bailed her out a couple of times and she just cannot expect that anymore. She will continue to go the way she is going unless she finds out just how tough things could be for herself.

I can't worry about this as much anymore. This has been consuming me every hour of every day for the past few months. I need some rest and I need to take a break now. I just have to leave this totally in God's Hands.

Thanks everyone for helping me.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

So sorry to hear about your Dad, Cathi. I will pray that the chemo is easy on him.

One day, your daughter will hear everyone's chorus. You have raised her right, and she knows, deep down, what is right. She probably just needs to prove it to herself.

My thoughts are with you.

Cathi, I'm so sorry about your Dad's CT results...this cancer battle is very much a frustrating five steps forward, four steps back, isn't it! Just when you think it's all clear, it finds a way to sneak back in. I'm still (and have been all along) keeping your Dad in my heart-prayer, as well as you and your family. Hang in there, and stay steadfast in your hope and faith...and be en-couraged by our love and support.

Cathi,

Take care of yourself! Keeping all of you in my prayers!

Yes Anno, I have come to the same conclusion. I believe this is a lesson for me too. I just worry all the time over everything, I keep thinking if I don't have control of a situation, it will never get done. I think this is God's way of telling me to allow Him to handle things, to Trust Him. Anyway, I think Sofia just has to learn for herself, but the seeds have been planted.

Thanks Eagle for your words of comfort. You are such a loving soul. I think it will be okay with my dad. He woke up this morning really cheerful. Something I haven't seen most of my life. He's normally quiet! I just hate to leave them tomorrow, but duty calls.

Thanks Jane for all your prayers as well.

Love,
Cathi

Cathi,
Thank you for the update on your Daddy. I'm so sorry it wasn't good news, this time, but take heart because we are all continuing our steadfast prayers for you and yours and God is listening!

We also are covering your daughter and I believe you certainly know best for her. While the choices you are having to make are hard, very hard, you do so because you love her so much. Remember that! Stay strong and let love do the talking!

Cathi, I love the way you always sign off. It makes me smile. We love you too and are right there withyou.

I recall getting that type of news when Mom was sick and it can be so disheartening. All you can do is exactly what you are doing. Keep loving the heck out of him and letting him know how much you care. I know that always boosted Mom's moods and I bet it does the same for your Dad.

About worrying...I finished a really great Bible study, Living Above Worry and Stress, by the Women of Faith gals. It's about the seventh book in the series that I've done and I loved it. They are little work books with space to respond to the questions, interpret the verses they refer to, and really ponder what God is calling us to do with our worry and stress. You are doing exactly what He asks us to do. Keep turning it over to Him. If you are having trouble doing that, I recommend this book/series. I think Eagle is also using them now. Just a thought that is meant to help you on the journey. The books are so positive and uplifting. All the best!

Cathi,
So sorry to hear about the results of your dad's scan. That, plus the problems you've been having with your daughter, are a huge plateful of stress.

I add my thoughts and prayers to help you through this time.

Cathi,
I'm praying for your family. So much for one to deal with.

How old is your daughter? I somehow missed her age. I saw where she was 14, but missed how old she is now. I hope she isn't still 14.

Tough love is never easy but often that's the only way. All you can do is put them in God's hands and have faith that he will look after them when you cannot be there.

Take care of yourself and know that God is with you.

Pam