THANK YOU to all of you for the encouragement! "Dysfunction Junction What's Your Function!" - i love the title, dianne, let me know when you write the book...i'll be happy to contribute a few chapters!

jj, you are right about the love for dh. now that he is aware of the way they work, he is very supportive and appreciative of my efforts. i do love him more deeply than i can put into words. an extra tenderness came into our relationship when our daughter died that has kept us in tune to each other and very aware of our feelings.

dotsie, i think you are right about getting more done if i wasn't on the phone with MIL! and guess what? i got another call this morning! now we are going to MIL's house again. SIL decided her house is too small for twenty people so she's going to go to MIL's house early thurs. morning to help MIL get the veggies etc. cooked.

i also got instructions not to put the stuffed turkey in the oven low and slow the night before and was told that MIL and an aunt are going to make dressing even tho' i'm making dressing. supposedly, auntie likes to have enough there so she can take leftovers home. i told her it won't be in the bird anyway, so tell auntie to cook her stuffing at home and leave it there. i know i'm being petty now, but i'm going to make a HUGE batch of dressing and fill an extra pan for each of them to have after - they can just eat dressing till it gags them.

as for my side of the family, they live in MN so we've never spent holidays with them because of milking cows till a year ago. we are still trying to finish harvesting sunflowers so can't go there this year either. they are a much friendlier and more normal group than my in-laws but have had some impatience with them lately, too. i've been there so much in the last couple of years helping take care of my parents that they've all forgotten that the distance is just as far going east as going west.

i wonder sometimes if i'm just being overly sensitive and bitchy but have come to realize lately that i am just so, so tired way down deep inside. since our daughter died in 94, we have had several major business set backs that we had no control over, plus just trying to help the boys and survive in grief. i'm all used up and have really felt it lately. dh knows so is trying to be helpful. i told him the biggest help he can be is to just be there when it is time to do things with his parents. that way when i have to be insistant with them about things they can't handle, they will accept it as being from him, too. he understands that and is doing his best!

well, ladies, thanks for listening to this old bag that is over loaded and getting thin skinned!