I can identify with the in-law troubles posted here. Mine nearly destroyed our marriage. It took about 10 years for hubby to wake up and see what they were doing to us.

He worked with them so they used that time to criticize me behind my back. He would come home mad at me and I wouldn't know why. They also used their catholic religion (i'm protestant) to drive a wedge between us. Unfortunately, hubby was pretty blind to it all for a long time. It has taken many years and tears to smooth over the feelings of resentment that built up between us.

And now guess who ends up taking care of them? Yup, me! Sister in law is so busy with her drunk live-in and other things in her self-screwed up life that she just can't find the time to participate in their care. She just gets mom to fell sorry for her while I do all the work like dr. appointments and other health care and home issues. Hubby is very supportive and helps, too, but it still usually falls to me to see that everything is taken care of.

The real irony is that when push comes to shove, I still end up the big bad bitch while MIL and her daughter have their little pity parties. SIL will walk off with the family jewels but I will at least have the peace of mind knowing I've done what is important and retain the respect of my husband.

I learned long ago that life isn't fair and we get what we give. I just need to remind myself of that once in a while when the going gets rough!