God bless you and all involved in this saddness another of lifes lessons.

Thank you so much..everyone..for writing. I feel all the love and support coming thru. And it means SO MUCH!!!! I have told my friend about you all. She was amazed and deeply moved that even women in the US had heard about her "love" and were touched by it. I told her about your prayers and support. And she was so happy. Difficult to describe..but she was.

Life goes on..and we usually meet on our friday evenings. She is having a tough time..a really tough time. The summer is a difficult time to grieve. But then again, is there any "good time" to grieve? I don´t know. Her finances are giving her alot of worry too. Since Martin died, her income has been cut in half. I am pretty sure that it will work out in the end..but it´s very worrying for her until then. On the humorous side, I noticed that she had arranged all her bills on a chest and behind the arrangement is a big candle l´abre..so it kind of looks like a funeral,too. Casket and all! I told her that we should bury her bills and be done with them because we are getting good at doing that. I promised that I would even hold a speech. Well, she enjoyed that!

Lots of love and thanks to you all for being there for me and my friend during this difficult time.

humlan, good to hear the sense of humor!

My uncle died this week and he and my aunt had been married for 40 years and had no children. They adored one another...a similar love to the one your friends shared.

The night of the viewing, the priest did a little service and mentined howmuch they loved one another. He then asked people to share stories aobut my uncle. Many people in the rooms shared, and my aunt grinned form ear to ear, often saying things about what a great guy he was, he was the best, and other kind things. When one finshed talkign she said, "More, More." She just loved hearing the stories about his goodness. It was so cool to see someone grieving, grinning and wrapped in joy. I mention this with the idea of you sharing your favorite stories about her husband when you are together one evening. I bet she'd love it.

Thank you everyone for your all your mail. You give me such joy..and that helps me bring it to my friend..because it´s not always easy to muster up joy on my own. My life is going on and there are worries and things going on..both bad and good. But she is mostly at home in her apartment..and it´s well..a different world. I am not complaining at all..because she has so much to give, just by being who she is. But there is a world out there and I am part of it (thank goodness).. I remember time standing still around the death of my little girl, who by the way has the same name as my friend, Susan..they just spell it differently... so I do understand.. it´s just difficult to make it jive together..mostly for me.. But I take my time with her as something special..almost like a step out of the time zone..and that works very well and is probably very close to the truth.

Thank you again...

humlan, I'm sure experiencing the grief of your daughter has given you tremendous strength and wisom while caring for your friend. Tragedy often brings wisdom, if we are wise enough to look for the good in life. YOu are such a gift.

Humlan,

You are a blessing to your friend.

And, I am so, so, sorry about the loss of your little girl.

Blessings,
Emily

Sometimes our our strengths are pulled out of us when another is in need. This makes twice the blessing, I think. I'll say it again, your friend is very fortunate to have you, and also...you are very fortunate to have her as well.

I love the idea of burying the bills and having a service for them. You should do it. The simple act (and humorous one) alone will make her feel like a burden has been lifted, I bet...and I also bet she would look at bill-paying time as just another function, not necessarily one that gives her nothing but angst. Go for it!

I have to agree...your friend is very lucky to have you in her life.

Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for sharing with me/us about your uncle and aunt. What a wonderful story and what a wonderful woman! I believe that laughter is a great part of sorrow because it brings us closer to the one we have lost. If we grieve deeply, that means we must have had some very great times together..of all kinds.. And remembering the happy times brings on a joy that is quite difficult to describe. You can just experience them with those that also remember and love. I must tell my friend, Sussi, about your aunt and uncle. I visited her today, on "our friday", but hadn´t read your mail yet. So next time..probably next friday.

How is your aunt coping? My friend is still thinking about ending it all..but on the otherhand, she is still here with us. Thank goodness. Because I would miss her desperately. She gives so much by just being "Sussi".

Your aunt has my thoughts and prayers.

Emyjay! I like the idea of the funeral for her bills.. I am going to give it a try next week THANKS! Let you know how it went!

Today, our friday, I took her out for a beer in this outdoor square we have in Stockholm where you can sit outside and eat food and drink beer until late into the night. They even have infra red lamps to keep us warm. This being Sweden and all. Anway we sat down beside some long haired types which is fine with me..means they are hard rockers. And they WERE. Metallica gave a concert here last nite. My 2 sons had been there. One had cued over nite to get a good place right under the stage. Wish I had been there too! Anyway, they had Metallica t-shirts on, soooo, I just HAD to ask if they´d been THERE. My friend just about died..but they explained, very politely, that they hadn´t been THERE because they didn´t have money for the tickets. When I told them that my 17yr old came away with a guitar pick from Metallica..they were in extatics And my friend finally got the courage up to tell them that she loves their song, "Nothing Else Matters" and off we were, talking about the music!

Nothing like music and longhaired types to bring light into darkness...most of the time.