Di, Hannelore's advice is best...to offer occasional help to stepdaughter to look after her child. At least it would fit you, into the picture for the child as a family member.

You have to respect the decision of the working mother and her energy level, etc. And this is even despite the fact, that daddy is quite heavily involved in childraising also.

I think of my 1 sister who has 3 children under 9 yrs. old and exhausting herself...but willingly in order to keep up with her profession, she must work at least part-time. Meanwhile they are spending thousands of dollars annually on daycare...


Even part-time nanny for working mothers is a tough call. Another sisters went through this with her son, and found out within 6 wks., he was learning Italian from the caregiver. While that may sound like lovely idea...I mean really, it is of less value/relevance in the long-term, when the mother's (and grandmother's) mother tongue is chinese and father is scottish-irish. This unexpected development alone, put a dead stop to the idea of part-time nanny for my sister.

But maybe using a nanny it's not the worst if the caregiver is ok. Probably best only part-time though. Not all mothers have a temperment/or develop proper temperment ...to be a mother.