Emily, it's so good to hear your voice - WE'RE not tired of hearing about you! I know that feeling of "time looming large". Last June/July, I was going through severe anxiety and often couldn't even step outside my front door to get the mail, so the time was long. If it hadn't been for BWS, I don't know what I would have done.

Unfortunately/fortunately (one of those paradoxes of life), my brother's cancer diagnosis in August forced me out of myself and I spent the rest of the summer (and the next 8 months) looking after him. Though the circumstances were tragic, the situation DID heal me of those panic attacks and took me back out into the "real" world.

Now that he's gone, I no longer have those panic attacks, but still sometimes find it difficult to fill in the long hours. I try to schedule one fun/useful outing a week for myself. It might be as simple as shopping for birthday cards for all of the birthdays over the next 2-3 months, taking the bus downtown and roaming around the market for the morning (and coming home with some yummy fresh veggies & fruits), walking over to the dollar store to pick up some fun stuff to do with my granddaughter, going to the bookstore with the intent to JUST BROWSE through the shelves for an hour or so...it does take a bit of creative ingenuity to come up with new ideas, but that can actually be on your "to do" list for one day, to take time to brainstorm things you can do throughout the summer. They don't have to be big things, just activities that take you out of the house for a morning or afternoon.

We could all help with that brainstorming here - maybe we could start a new thread specifically to brainstorm "things to do when there's nothing to do". You'll know which ideas click and which ones don't - and they might inspire others who are in the same situation!

Emily, I hope you feel free to come HERE and spend some of your summer here - that's what I did last year, and it was time well spent. Being here helped me to heal, and helped me to find the inner resources I needed in order to get outside my front door. Being here also helped me to stay strong during my long journey with my brother. This is a GOOD PLACE to hang out...

Wait a minute - is "threw" the correct spelling for tossing something out? LOL Lost my dictionary. I know it's here, somewhere.

Emily in Maryland

I hope no one thinks I'm a whiner. I seem to be making progress one day and sliding back another.

I'm seeing two therapists at the same time. This is not good. It happened when the old first one said he was changing jobs. I'll have to make a decision about this by tomorrow.

A friend said that if I had a Passion for something ie: a hobby of sorts, that I would be able to balance my life and also get my mind off of me.

It occurred to me that I did have hobbies throughout my life and now, I don't. I have so many plastic containers filled with yarns. I have lots and I mean lots of scrapbook stuff. I used to love to scrap. Does anyone know if this lack of interest is associated with my challenge? Should I force myself to start a project or finish an old one?

Thanks, in advance, for any help you can offer.

Emily

Emjay
Louise Hay.(hope you have heard of her) would say the ankle is significant.
As for hobbies...they need energy and you are coping with other things.
For some hobbies make a diversion whereas you are working hard on getting well.Everyone copes in an individual way.
Sometimes I buzz around so busily..Husband says I am bunble bee then.Other times I read rest and gather my thoughts.
Keep well my dear.
Mountain ash

Oh Mountain Ash,

Thank you, so much, for corresponding with me, today. Yep, I have a Louise Hay book. It's old and yellowed, but I have it.

I'm understanding what you're saying about the foot is enough. It's not hurting as much as it did -- until I walk. So, I see the Dr. this coming Thursday.

I'm still stuck between two counselors. One, Christy is nice, but won't call me back when I'm having a panic attack. A one minute phone call will do. Bruce is making time for me and some other patients. Sees us on Tuesday evenings and Saturday afternoons.
Now I have two counselors. Christy is good with my religion problems, but Bruce has been working with me for years. I lied (not happy about this) re: my ability to get to my session with Christy. My Dr. wants me to stick with a cognitive therapist and I don't even know if she has a degee. On her card, it reads M.S. LCPC and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. What does that mean? Anyone want to take a guess?

Thank you,
Emily

Looks like she has a Masters in Social Work and is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor.

Emy, have you considered group therapy? It might be a neat way for you to meet some women who are going through similar emotional times. Knowing we aren't alone is often a big part of feeling better.

Dotsie,

Yes, I'm searching for a group. I'll be better when I get back to work. Actually, I go back in two weeks to sub. Then, John will be off for a week. Then it's back to work.
So, I don't know why I'm banging on myself so badly.

My new meds have me mellowed out. I wrote to Vicki about that today.

For today, at least, I just feel okay about doing a bit of housework, reading a bit, taking a nap.

I work during the school year. I'm on vacation now. But for some reason, I feel like I have to be doing something productive all day. I'm making myself upset. My husband doesn't see anything wrong with just "chilling."

I talked to Dr. Spear (my medicine man) about Christie's credentials. He says he doesn't know what they stand for.
I've tried to search the web, but couldn't solve the mystery.

I know that the acronym following the name of a licensed clinical social worker is: LCSW.

I believe if they have a masters, that it's: MA LCSW.

Thanks to all who are helping me. Really.

Emily

In UK we need accreditation to be counsellors.My credit is from a university.
There should be a register where anyone in practice can be looked up.

Caring others can facilitate anyone and should not be underestimated.

Also consider asking the counsellor.

One thing I would like to ask you...is the way you feel a new issue or do you recall patterns?

We all have patterns..me...when I'm tired I function less well.Seeing this and doing something about it took a time to register.
Take care
Mountain ash

Mountain Ash,

I really want to see both counselors at the same time. However, I know this is not usually done.

Dr. Speer is advising me to stay with Bruce. I'm still on the fence, though.

I like Christie, but she will not call patients when they have anxiety attacks. Bruce always answers. It may take a few minutes for him to call me back, and my conversations with him usually last only three minutes. But, after just that short time, I am usually very much relieved.

Just knowing that I can call him has stopped many a panic or anxiety attack.

I think I've just answered my own question about who to work with.

Thank you for helping me Mountain!

Blessings,
Emily

People DO answer their own dilemas.
Well done.
Mountain