DParker,

Welcome to our online home. Glad to have you here. You will find this to be a welcoming, warm, loving site.

My father died in 1998 and my mother in 2000. It definitely is a new concept to be an adult orphan. I have siblings, but it is not the same thing as having your parents.

The idea of the group sounds interesting.

Welcome again.
Sandpiper

My heart goes out to you. I lost my mother 12 years ago, and my father has recently taken a turn for the worst. He'll be 80 soon. I'm not ready to lose him too. Just thinking about it makes me feel alone in the world.

Flo Voy,
Your words bring back such aching memories...and MY heart goes out to YOU. There just aren't words eloquent enough to ease the anguish of watching a beloved father slipping away from us. It still brings tears to my eyes and sobs to my throat to remember watching my Dad, and then my Mom, go.

It's clear how profoundly you love your father. I can feel your anguish in your post. Just know that you're NOT alone. If it helps at all, know that we all will be here for you as you go through this. Come here and let us nurture you through this. Although I can't be on-site all the time, and will be gone much of October, I promise I will be "with you" in prayer and heartfelt thoughts. And I know other women here have gone through the same thing and will also stand by you throughout this painful time.

I still miss my parents terribly, so with every thought of them, I will add many more thoughts for you.

Flo, I see you answered some of my questions from another forum. Sorry about that.

I watched Mom die a quick death to lung cancer this time four years ago. It was pitiful to watch. However, we did try to find the beauty within the rough times for the family. All of us drew closer by caring for her daily. Dad, my brother, sisters and our families got so close, and Mom loved seeing that. WE've always been close, but family life with our own children kept us busy until Mom became ill. Then all of us rallied around her and one another. That part was beautiful.

Try to find the blessings in each visit. Look hard for them. There is a great book you might want to check out. It's called The Final GIft. It gives a healthy perspective on death and dying.

Do you have any siblings in town?

We tend to carry one another in prayer at BWS. I will carry you and your dad.

Thank you for the name of the book. I'll look for it. And thank you all so much for your prayers and concern. I'll be praying for you all too.

My brother lives 1000 miles away, and I don't expect much out of him. I refuse to beg. I barely know him anyway.

Welcome to Flo, Dutchy and DParker.

I am sorry for each participant's losses. It is hard to loose a loved one at any age. I lost my dad when I was 7 and it still brings tears to my eyes when I remember him.

I often wonder what would our lives be now if he were still with us. I do praise the Lord for the hope of resurrection and I await that day when Christ returns. Death will be no more.

I can wholeheartedly say: if it were not for the faith in God that our parents instilled in me, I would have not come so far and my live would've been a disaster. Faith is what helps me carry on. I still miss my dad, and cry when I talk about him but I know it is just a temporary separation.

Being an orphan... I don't really think of that. I guess it has made me cling on to my heavenly Father even more.

May you all find comfort and hope amidst your loss.

Hi everyone. Sorry about all your losses. I lost my mom 6 years ago, and lost my dad 7 months ago. He was diagnosed with Leukemia and two weeks later was gone. He had some other health issues since turning 80 last year. i took care of him the last year of his life. We became very close. The 14th of September was his birthday, it was a very hard day for my family and my sister and brother. Two months after my dad died my best friend and business partner lost her mom. So both of us are dealing with being orphans at the same time. I guess our parents decided it was best we dealt with our losses together at the same time. I don't know.

Hello everyone. Just found and joined this site today and have so much to read and explore. But, your discussions have really pulled at my heart strings because I'm still grieving for my mother who died 7 mos. ago. Dad died 7 yrs. ago. I was their only child, so I really do feel like an *orphan*. I moved my mother in with me 2 1/2 yrs. before her death and took care of her and tried to do all the right things, but still knew I couldn't save her. Am really struggling with all the decisions I made. I guess you always think you can save them.... Anyway, thanks for being here, and I will continue to read your posts and learn from them. Some days are better than others. Today was a really bad day for me, and I think God led me to this website.

Faith, Welcome to our site!

I'm coming up to my 4-year anniversary of my Mom's death. Your grief is still so fresh and raw. I remember that first year, it was so terribly lonely and painful.

The most agonizing elements of my grief were the "what if's", the never-ending second guessing of all of our decisions and especially all of the regrets. My Mom seemed to be doing very well, then suddenly got sick and was dead within weeks. It all happened so suddenly that we barely had time to digest everything that was going on. We made quick decisions and in hindsight, we wished we had made different ones. But you do the best you can with what you've got at the time of making those decisions. I've had long chats with my Mom since she died; I sense her love and encouragement to move on, but find it very hard to forgive myself and face forward. I keep trying, but then keep finding myself facing those mistakes again and again.

But I really believe that our Mom's wouldn't want us to second-guess ourselves into such anguish. They are okay now, and we have to forgive and love ourselves back into being okay too.

I hope you find comfort and home here amongst us. We're a good bunch of wise and silly women (well, some of us are silly) who have found a great place to come and be. I hope you make yourself at home here with us.

Thanks, Eagle Heart. I'm very sorry for your losses. I know that all of what you say is true. It will just take some time to work through the difficulties. Thanks, also for welcoming me here. I will continue to look through the forums and all that this site offers. Looks like a great place to spend time!