This is still such a excruciating topic for me. As you noted, I too have been rationalizing the pain away; my standard finger-wagging at my soul is "well, everyone goes through this at some time in their lives, so you can too". But anytime I hear or read the word "orphan", the tears start pouring down my face. Being an orphan, even at 50, DOES HURT. Not as constantly anymore, but the pain is just as raw anytime I do really think about it. Maybe some of my "numbness" comes from putting so much energy into NOT thinking about it.

Thank you for mentioning this, Kathryn. It still is a such a raw agony for me. As others have said here, there is no timetable for grief, and I just have to accept that for whatever reason, it's taking me longer than expected to get through this excruciating transition into orphanhood. I DON'T LIKE IT...I want my Mommy and Daddy back!