Misfire, thanks for the book idea. I've read on many topics, but haven't gotten around to the caring for elderly parent's topic yet. I think it's time.

Dotsie,
Thanks for your kind offer regarding my mother. I just got back from there-cleaning and grocery shopping. We are lucky my sister lives around the corner and can do the day to day stuff and drive her to dr's visits. Caring for the elderly parent is such an important topic. There are so many needs besides medical, legal being one of them, that have to be addressed. We boomers are nudging that age line and a how to manual might be another wonderful idea. Being unmarried with no children, I'd like to know that I've done all I should to be prepared for the unexpected. I'd hate to burden one of my sisters with my care or the disposition of my house and such.

Dotsie,
My mom died in 1993. But when she was age 89, the neighbors complained; they didn't want her driving. So she quit. It's the saddest thing when that happens. And yes...she became more dependent. I took her grocery shopping and she lived at my house for 6 months at a time. I presently have a friend who's turning 86 years old, next month. She says, "Growing old is NOT for sissies." I say, "Only alternative...is to die young?"

[ May 06, 2005, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: bonnierose333 ]

I've had to deal with three elderly relatives who were not safe to drive but wanted to continue driving. Their loss of independence is very minor compared to the potential liability issues that can happen if they get in an accident or, god forbid, kill someone. They complain about having to take taxis a lot - oh, the cost is so high!! But compare that to the cost of maintaining a car with insurance, repairs, gas, etc. etc. and it's nothing. The point that finally got my mom to give in was that if she killed someone while driving, the potential lawsuit could not only bankrupt her for her future, but also put in jeopardy the financial future of her kids.

Thanks for all your thoughts and comments.

Elsie, three elderly relatives? Maybe you should write the book Kat's talking about.

If you go to Amazon and do a caring for our parents search, you'll see htere are quite a few books worth exploring.

Can you imagine not being able to jump in your car and head out? Maybe the answer is living in a small town where you can walk everywhere.

Dotsie, that's not really true any more. A lot of the 'shopping' has moved out to the suburbs and you still have to drive. If there is a Mayberry RFD out there in the US somewhere -- I'd like to know where it is. I'd move there.

My aunt stopped driving at the insistence of several people before she turned 100. We had her a big 100th birthday party and everyone spoke about how great it was that she had lived to be 100.
But when it was my aunt's turn to speak, she said, "Look you all may think this being a hundred is a great thing, but I'm telling you, it's nothing but a NUISANCE!
She died peacefully not too long after that.
smile

My mom lost her license to drive this past february. She has advanced macular in both eyes and she can bearly hear. We do alot of errands together. We have alot of frustrating times and also a lot of great laughs. We laugh at her mistakes and mine trying to weave our way through life. She is very intelligent and willful and puts me in my place whenever necessary and even when not. People around us that we deal with I think find us amusing. I just know I will cherrish this timew we have had together.

And so you should Oyster-ears, many can't from having lost their moms much too soon....My mom whos 85 and her sister, my Aunt who is 87 were going to the show for their friends Birthday Saturday, she turned 90. Mom drove them all to the show to see Monster-In-Law and she said it was hysterical. I can just imagine the prattle going on in that car..they are all so cute.

Oyster-ears, I'm gettin such a kick out of your screen name. Chatty, I can just see your mom and aunt driving down the road. And Bonnie Rose, I love your comment that growing old is not for sissies!

My mom is 82 and still driving, but recently her mechanic called me up and suggested I steer mom towards an automatic. She's been driving a stick since she was 14, but lately has been having trouble with arthritis in her hands. Shifting was getting difficult. Mom ended up getting a new VW Golf. At first she was confused about not using her left foot, but she's got the hang of it now. She's still okay on the road, but no longer likes to drive at night. It's no big deal because my hubby and I only live a mile away and are happy to transport her after dark. We're lucky that she's in good health and nearby.