Due to a strange phone call last night from a woman trying to locate my father in law, I believe a family member has used his name to get a credit card and run up a huge bill. He's 90 years old, under Hospice care, can't talk on the phone cause he can't hear and he can't order anything through the mail because he can't read. What else could it be? I suppose it could be a case of identity theft but looking back on the last year, there is one member of the family that had a good time charging a lot of things...I mean a lot of things. This person doesn't make that kind of money. And, maybe this person knew that nobody could attach his house because it's been signed over to his daughter and what are they gonna do, put a 90 year old man who is hooked up to oxygen 24/7 in prison? This is just so distressing!

Dianne, that is horrible. What can be done? You say this is your FIL? Can you hubby find out? This must be so distressing. Oh how on earth could someone do something like that to a person who is so sick? and old? It breaks my heart to hear this. I would be happy to offer prayers for him. And for you and your hubby for having to deal with this situation. What do you think will happen?

JJ

Oh JJ, I don't think anything will happen. If the person is who I think it is, there is that family code of silence. And, I'm sure the person who did this is not considering it something that will be done to my FIL but to the credit card company that screws everyone and their brother! I talked to this person and he/she said, "What do they expect? Sending a credit card application to a 90 year old man!" That kind of gave me a clue because my FIL would NEVER get a credit card! I mean, what does he need with one? I talked to my husband today very briefly about my dad and we both said we had an idea what happened but we're saving it for our nightly phone conversation. It will be interesting to see if he comes up with the same conslusion I have. You know what the sad part of this is? The person I believe to be the "perpetrator" is someone I love dearly and it diminishes her/his assumption of them, in my mind. If they would screw a 90 year old man, what would they do to me, given the chance? That's probably over the line but it's about character. Ya know?

Dianne, you're right to assume that this person would do the same or worse to you or anyone else given the change. Code of silence be dammed, I would make sure the entire fasmily knew of this terrible sick thing done to someone defenseless.

I found out that before my ex arrived here to live in Vegas he ran up an $800.00 phone bill in his dead Uncles name so he could talk to me daily for months. Did I ever realloy trust him, heck NO! This person should be embassassed if nothing else and guess what he/she CAN BE PROSECUTEDand the credit card company would even pay for the information and keep it confidential.....and that's a fact.

Dianne, how horrible!!

The same people who would do something like that to an old man would probably hurt children and little puppies. They have names for people like that and they're not very nice.

If you're really serious about making this person accountable for this, I'd follow Chatty's advice and confidentially report them to the credit card company. If anything it'll redirect their collection efforts from your FIL to this person. Of course, they'll probably never collect. If this person had an ounce of decency, they'd step up and take responsibility.

I'm just sorry you have to go through this.

You know what would happen if I reported it? This relative would come to my husband for money to pay an attorney! I doubt he would give them the money but it would cause more trouble than if I reported them. And because it's my husband's family, it would be up to him to report it.

I'm so disillussioned, if that's how you spell it. Yes, I'm a writer...duh! I'll never feel the same about this person. It really hurts. I feel like I just lost a best friend. Family dynamics can suck sometimes.

The mean streak in me says I would go to this person with the questionable character (hasn't been proven guilty, right?) and say something like, "oh guess what? The FBI was here looking for the person who got the credit card! Can you believe the lengths this credit card company is going to? They told me they think they know who did it and if they don't pay it, they're gonna have a new girlfriend/boyfriend in prison!" I would be dramatic, and really scare the beejeebees out of um too...course, that's just me.

JJ

JJ you are right on the money as usual....Now normally on an unsecured debt like a credit card purchase there isn't much they can do but harrass you forever but THIS IS FRAUDand they not only can but will gleefully prosecute the culprit. It's your decision and by the way where is that credit card now? I can't help it, I'd nark on this pile of inhuman garbage....but that's me and easier said than for you to do.

Elder fraud penalties are getting stiffer and there's gonna be karma on top of that.

[ December 17, 2004, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: Kristin ]