I'm loving where I am right now, I must admit. So Jenny, I was in Sedona last weekend......OMG, I just don't know that I've ever seen anything more beautiful. Of course most of my pictures have a street sign or a power line through them, but those rock formations, absolutely incredible... I could almost feel giant Indians standing at attention in some of the formations. I was in awe.....and welcome, welcome, welcome, this is a great place! Really!

Kate

Welcome Jenny!

Kate, your creativity is blossoming because you cleared out the debris. I've been on similar paths. Many long stories.

I have a painter friend who moved to Sedona ~15 years ago when she retired from teaching, so she could paint full-time. She has a studio and occasionally does gallery shows. I visited 3 years ago, when I was tooling through Arizona. Really special place.

Jennyherbs. Welcome aboard. Enjoy your time and jump in anywhere and everywhere.

Kate. I am so happy that you are finding yourself again. Rediscovering a life long passion - how lucky you are!

Hello there Jenny from lil' 'ole Ireland Jenny...you will have a ball here and I look farward to getting to know you about the boards.

Popea

Hi Kate! My Name is Gerri and I'm brand new here in the forum. Literally, just this minute joined. After discovering the BWS website and this forum, I knew it was for me. I can really relate to your situation. My husband is an alcoholic. His past mistakes have taken a tremendous toll on our marriage, children and finances. We recently went through a brief separation. We are back together again, but as I knew in my gut he would, fell off the wagon. I know that he tries as hard as he is capable of doing, but without the help he really needs, he is not going to be able to do it on his own. I can really identify with the "spouse-friend" part.
I was so exhausted of being a spouse, the resentment, the anger, I couldn't do it anymore. But being who I am, the friend part feels like I can't abandon him. Maybe that is not a good thing, but for now, it's a decision I have made and will live with. This all going on at a time in my life when I am "searching for myself", trying to find out what I want to do at this stage of my life. I've always had this desire to try writing, and will be starting some online classes next week. I am reading, researching, praying and soul searching. My past, my current situation, life changes, my kids, certainly give me a lot of material to work with. Please pray that I can make wise decisions and find success. I am happy to read that you are working through your situation and that your husband is doing well!
God Bless!
Gerri

Welcome Jenny and Gerrbeck!! WOW, so many new members. This place is spreading just like a wild fire, only this wild fire is a good thing...
Jenny I'm in Vegas and yes, it is so hot here too. My sandals got so hot while I was walking yesterday, I could feel the heat on the bottoms of my feet. Oh well, like I tell my friends, it is the desert.

Hi Gerri... i know it takes a lot to be 'a friend' and it's not for everybody. I just know that you have to do what you feel in your gut. I had to do what I felt like God would have "ME" do, not other people would suggest, because, of course, they're not me. And my husband was never abusive, never unkind or anything like that but he was unreliable, irresponsible with his time, his money, and his health, so in a way, there was probably some mental abuse, but the brunt of it hit him because ultimately he was the one who had to fix it. And the only way that can happen is when you turn away from whatever 'that thing' is. And I don't know if you're familiar with Al Anon or not but it's a pretty good program... it helps you not lose yourself in the mess of things and helps you keep one foot on the ground. Ultimately he is responsible for repairing whatever damage there is or has been done but that doesn't mean you just have to sit there and wait for the next shoe to drop.

I'm very active and do a lot of things.... work at a newspaper, take classes a couple of times a week, paint, work with clay and have four almost totally grown children so it was pretty easy to detract my focus from my husband when things were crappy.

This is a totally random thing but when my husband was at his worst, our daughter's best friend gave him a puppy. We loved German Shephards and Christie's dog had a litter and she was selling them. HER father had some drinking and other issues and when he had gotten a dog it helped him take the focus off of himself and he learned to care for something. Anyway, she had my daughter pick out a puppy to bring to her dad......my husband LOVES that dog, loves her! We all do, but it helped him. Sometimes when they can't talk to us, either the dog OR the husband, they can talk to each other and it makes it easier.

That was just a little fyi. Good to have you here. It's a nice place and the people are great!

Kate

Hey Kate! Thanks so much for the understanding and supportive words. It is always great to have others out there that have walked in your shoes.
Gerri

I know what you mean. There were times that I felt so isolated because surely nobody else was going through a similar thing. At least not anyone I knew. it's hard to live through a situation and try to keep your head above water all the time. It's exhausting.

K

One of the reasons I launched BWS was so that women would not feel alone with their stories. WOohoo, we're living our mission.

Gerri, you said:

I am reading, researching, praying and soul searching. My past, my current situation, life changes, my kids, certainly give me a lot of material to work with. Please pray that I can make wise decisions and find success.

I was in a valley after Mom's death and had the empty nest staring me in the face when I did exactly what you are doing. BWS and www.anabbw.com are the result of ontentionally soul searching with God. You WILL be blessed. Keep searching.

Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened!
Luke 11:9-11