Newleaf, I find it interesting that when your men were "stolen" by a woman, you blamed the woman, and said it was the WOMEN you couldn't trust. Seems to me, that you shouldn't have trusted the men either, but you blamed the women because you chose an untrustworthy man.

Men aren't possessions to be stolen any more than we're possessions to be controlled. "Stealing" an unfaithful man is like stealing a sack of rotten potatoes -- both parties pretty much get what they deserve.

So you lost -- what? Several sacks of rotten potatoes?? And you're grieving because???...

Pardon my usual bluntness, but anyone can f---. Cockroaches can f---. You need to start looking for a man who knows how to love.

All relationships work if -- and only if -- two people have an equal stake in it working.
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On to the next topic -- I'm really glad that you're working on your house and your artistic projects. It's a perfect time in life to be giving attention to creative endeavors which will nourish you for years to come.

Well, as usual, there's a little more to it than that, but not worth going into.

Truth is, I used to trust everyone and I wasn't gender biased at all. But, men are sort of lovingly dumb and easily led by a short skirt and a set of boobs, really!!

Women on the other hand, know how to use those qualities to their best interest, to manipulate and get what they want and if what they want is YOUR man, then believe me, she will get him. I've never seen a man undyingly faithful to one woman no matter what the temptation (except my dad). It seems to me they are easily flattered and easily enticed. Their egos are fragile and they don't have the repetoire of guiles women have. At least that has been my experience and the more intelligent and less street smart they are the easier they are to "steal".

I know its possible to meet a man who isn't interested in anyone else, but usually, they aren't too interesting themselves, sort of boring and a little too much in touch with their feminine side, like a friend instead of a sexy, thrilling and satisfying mate.

Just my own experience...

i think i missed a post about men being stolen etc, and i agree and disagree with both newleaf and meradith at the same time, sorrie ladies....heers my tuppences worth...

some women do go all out using their femininitie for personal gain or to win over another man, i seen it myself and some men don't take too much to be won overe.

i also agree that neither a man or women are anyones propertie, even if their partner view them as such, or even they themselfs view themselfs as belonging to their partner. Their gotta be healthie reliances yet independances in relasionsips for them to work, well at lest in my case. I need belonging and part independances at the same time.

when a partners unfaithfull yea it affects self-esteem but reallie its their shame and not the wronged partner as they proven themself untrustworthie...and the "other partie" may have played their part in it...but i be more cross at my partner becouse its them that promised faithfullness....not the other partie...

you get some good butch men that are faithfull and worthie of trust....and some women that don't use their femininitie for personal gain in whatever way .......but i don't see to see masses and masses of them just a sprinkling and i enjoy their uncommoness when i see/find it.

I don't think men should be excoused for their unfaithfullness due to biological diffrences ....anymore than women should be excoused for their unfaithfullness.....We all know the conciquincess to the wronged partner and both m & w should be held accountable for their actions.

taaaraaaa lol did that make sences?

Amen Celtic. There definitely needs to be accountability in relationships with consequences when there's a break down. Unfortunately, I know women who haven't held their husbands accountable, know they have cheated and chose to live with it...only to have it happen again! YUK!

As someone who fell in love with another woman's husband, I have a bit of understanding of the "other woman." I know that men are visual creatures and are attracted to physical appearance first. But what made us irresistable to each other was the way we each listened to the other.

And from what I've seen and heard, I've come to believe that that is the most common reason for men to stray. Yes, they get attracted by a body, but are more attracted by someone who "adores" them by listening to them and having discussions with them, just as we all do at the beginning of a relationship.

This is not to excuse the men (it takes 2 to tango), but to say that there are usually problems in the marriage first, and then someone (usually the man, but women do it in larger numbers than we admit) decides that an affair will take the edge off the problems. It's a poor way to solve problems in a relationship, but a common one.

Relationships take attention each and every day. It takes making the time to listen and talk to each other and get help from a third party when you can't untangle the problem.

My husband is totally and utterly faithful to me and I to him. But, I still appreciate a good-looking man! :-))

I agree, Casey. What made me fall in love with the hub was his mind and his honesty. He was the first man I ever truly respected. We could spend hours discussing anything and my love of business keeps our topics very active since he's a businessman.

I know 100% that he would never cheat on me and I knew that the day I married him as I had been through the infedelity before with the ex. The hub has too much integrity to cheat. I don't care what woman threw herself at him, it wouldn't happen just like I wouldn't cheat if some man gave me the thumbs up. It's about committment.

integrity one big attractive feature i love that in men or women...its so safe to be around even in frendships. and of course the need for commitment to each other and the relashionship. sadlie not enough people have both qualities or have neither nither lol.

Is it possible for a relashionship weer one person cheets owns up to the cheeting to get back on track again? I know its possible but takes yrs to heal and forgive the infedelitie.

Even at that i wonder if its ever possible to trulie heal the same relashionship to the point weer their's no trust issues, it is a big thing to ask from a partner and just wonderring if you ladies consider it possible let alone worth it?

Dianne and Casey, I wish I could find someone like that someday, but my recent ex and I couldn't discuss anything if and when we did have anything to talk about without arguing. He unfortunately isn't very intelligent and can't even carry his end of a good argument. He's like a caveman.

My husband who passed away was so wonderful. He was brilliant and sensitive. He was huge and quiet and kind. We went to art museums and wine tastings and to political functions and to the governor's home for dinner.

He loved to read and was soooo romantic. I miss him terribly. He loved my children as his own and my grandchilden called him "grampy John". I'm afraid I will never find anyone as wonderful as he was again.

Celtic, I guess a woman could choose to stay with a man who cheated but I think the relationship would never be the same. The trust bank would have to be filled again.