At some point your boys will each talk to their father. It is bound to happen.

But you're right they are a product of your marriage and are entitled to an opinion but they don't necessarily have full understanding of dynamics between you and hubby.

They won't be solving your marital problems. But they still need each parent,...simply as a parent.

There was a song by the Righteous Brothers that ran through my head for you and NL..."I think you better...better try to find another woman...one who will love you and live with you the best she can...don't start none of your grieving...this time she's leaving...she's packing up her suitcase...try to find another woman.

Not a time for being funny but it does lighten the mood, don't you think? I have been reading about this while on vaca and couldn't help but think how he would feel if you had treated his mother that way but then, men don't always reason the way we do. Sometimes, sadly, it takes the leaving bomb before they understand how irrational they have been and then, many times after that has happened too much muddy water has gone under the bridge.

I was thinking of you while gone and especially while I was playing golf with my grandson...if you can call what I did golf!

I hope today is finding you as well as can be expected and that perhaps progress is being made in your heart and home. My prayers are with you a hug angel is on its way way to you...has she arrived yet? Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug...there...hope that makes you feel better.

Yes, Dianne, isn't the power of music amazing? It can make you feel so strong or get you way down in the dumps. Makes me wonder why I'm so lightly influenced by it...Gosh, I'm so manipulative.

All I know is that some angel just swooped by me and practically threw me over. Here she comes again…her chubby cherub arms outstretched ready to hug my neck! What was that?! Now she just did an about face and landed on my lap and tickled my nose with her feathered wing. She's a cutie and makes me feel all warm and happy inside. Thank you for sending her over Dee. Watch out she's coming your way with hugs back! tee hee.

All is quiet at the western front…but I'm blowing my gun barrels (they do have a daisy sticking in them)…waiting for Wednesday; … Prince Therapy Day! Ew boy.

Hannelore, Are you journalling? I found that really helpful when I was trying to decide what to do with the husband who is now my ex-. (Guess you can figure out what I did! LOL!)

Yes, Casey...I've been doing that since 2004; didn't even know it's called journaling. It does help to look back and read what has been going on in my life. It helps when I tend to get weak and want to just give in.

Wednesday. I will be thinking of you.

Just the fact that he is willing to go, and so quickly, is a positive sign.

I've read all the post today and at first my heart sank for you but was immediately uplifted by the fact that you stood your ground. Honey, if you don't live your life, who will?

I applaud you for moving toward the therapy step. I cannot say whether it will work or lead you back to square one, but if you are like me, you would be saying, "but what if I didn't try?" So good for you, and for him for agreeing to go.

I was moved by his tears but quite honestly, I've seen them before. As someone mentioned previously, they were short-lived (in my situation) and the verbal abuse returned. Hopefully, this will not be the case for you. I will put myself out there by saying that ANYONE.................ANYONE who was not nice to MY MOTHER would be so history. Color him G-O-N-E. In your situation though, I just feel there is more to this than meets the eye. I don't think its your Mother, per se, but some other thing that is driving his actions (a problem of his own) and he is just using Mom as a target.

Why would he pick that one particular way of hurting you? BECAUSE....he knows it would. That is one area in your life where you are vunerable. If someone wanted to hurt me, they could talk badly about my children or my family. That act alone would hurt me to the core. Personally, I think your husband is lashing out at you for some demon of his own and chose your Mother because he knew it WOULD hurt you.

Why do "THEY" hurt the ones who love them the most? Usually it is because they can . We take it because we love them. To a point. When the straw breaks ... that's all she wrote (and all of those other cliches)

I honestly have no advice or wisdom to pass on, but I will be holding you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that peace finds you.

Hi, I'm brand new here, but would like to add my heart-felt words of support, encouragement and empathy. I spent 22 years of my life with a man who was mean, domineering, cruel and anger-prone. I now live alone, enjoy and appreciate my grown son and have a nice relationship with a loving man. Whatever you decide is best for you, I wish you inner peace and happiness. Pattilou

Hannelore, I'm new too, hope you don't mind me coming late to this?

A few years ago I lost my dad, then not long after that, my mother, and my brother went to live in South Africa and has no contact with me.

This coincided with a lot of people being laid off work at my husband's place. He was unaffected workwise but many friends got the sack (lost their jobs).

The family losses took their toll on me, and the ructions at work took their toll on my husband and I went into the internet too much (for people to talk to I guess, since he went quiet and Martian on me).

He went cold on me, spent a whole summer sleeping head down in the bed (ie I slept with his his feet next to my face :rolleyes:)

I eventually confronted him and he was weird said everything was ok, but I pushed it and he went loopy at me and started ranting and talking divorce and I was :O and :'(

Anyway to cut a long story short it's been a bit of a ride, but we made it through the other end.

A crisis can be a make or break deal I think, and can give the required shove to someone who is undecided or unable to deal with stuff going on in their own lives.

Personally I think my husband was depressed/going through a mid-life crisis thing but being a man wouldn't/couldn't face that. Unhappily, it coincided with a depression on my part after the loss of a beloved father (who died on the Friday following 9/11, which meant an unplanned yet unavoidable air trip two days after the Twin Towers etc but at least I got to see him before he died).

What I am trying to say is that nothing is irretrievable, but it takes two, and it takes time and effort.

I wish you all the best x