Hannelore, stay strong and you will make the right decision. I hope this is the much needed wake up call for him and for you.

I believe you will make the best choice for you no matter what you decide. You are a wise and wonderful woman!

i so glade you didnt get home to anger. Tears for whatever reasons better than anger.

i bet he is so glade your home and i hope that it gives him the reasoning to relise that things have to change and that means his effort too.

I belive your worth the effort i hope he can accomplish it especillie in the biggest area as you say in relashion to your mum.

well your home safe and sound and heers to a new start for you and hubbie if thats what you want.

feeling drained... might take couple days to get your energie up. Thoughts and feeling be easier then.

you got my prayers and hope for the best possible outcome for you..

dont be a stranger to heer, please

Hannelore, please excuse me for hopping on so late, yet please know that my heart and prayers are with you. Without explaining, I understand your position. I've been to the Bodensee and cannot think of a more lovelier place to ponder your thoughts. Stick to your guns gal!

I'm sorry to hear things are messy with hubby, Hannelore. May you each find the best way(s) out of this over time.

And think about doodling some painting/drawing some time later...soon.

Hannelore, I feel really bad that I didn't see this sooner. Like several of the other gals here, I can see similarities with my own situation.

Husband a bully? CHECK! Selfish? CHECK! Irrational? CHECK! Childish? CHECK! Bad-tempered? CHECK! Always negative? CHECK! CHECK! and CHECK!

I understand the breaking point. There comes a day when you just can't take one...iota...more.

In my case, I left. For a day. A weekend. Two weeks. Incommunicado all times. Was he screaming and starting fights over absolute crap? "Bye, I'm gone, fight with the walls, but I'm no longer here."

Now he knows if he starts that garbage, I'm out the door. Home life is tolerable, for the first time in ages. He's almost nice to me most of the time. Truth be told, he's nice to me a lot, tons of compliments, where it used to be all insults. But I no longer love him. Don't want him, except to pay the bills.

He so doesn't get it. Doesn't realize just how "too late" it really is. But he never got it before either, so this shouldn't be a surprise.

Sounds like your husband will never get it either. You have to decide what you can, and cannot, live with. If he's worth it. Ultimately, he also has to decide what's important to him.

We're here for you, whatever happens. Be strong.

morning angel jist saying hi and letting you know i am thinking of ya...hope you got some rest and sleep last night and your energie comming back. Did you make the doc appontment?

Meredith, when I got home there was your package lying on the table. What a wonderful welcome gift that was for me. I have your beautiful earrings on now. And I dressed to match them;…white slacks and a black top. When I don't have puffy eyes, I'll have some pictures taken and send them to you.

Did I write that check list? Oh my, maybe our husbands are related. We are being very civil and polite to each other. I'm checking out where he can go for therapy. He's leaving all that up to me. I hope and pray it will help. I know what you mean Meredith about it being "too late"… I'm almost there too, but will do as Kate suggested…set a limit, and see if things change.

Laurel, I think he thinks my family takes me away from him. That's why he needs help. I just can't anymore.

Ann and Celtic, I just well up with all this love.

Orchid, you are so right. Painting is a fantastic therapy…it always takes me to Neverland. Does that happen to you too?

Mustang, you have been to Bodensee? Yes, it was a good place to ponder. Some guy with huge dark sunglasses even tried to pick me up. Ha ha…that hasn't happened to me in a long time. He was probably a gigolo looking for an "older" lady with cash. I left the café;… that's the last thing I need right now.

I'm glad he has decided to try therapy Hannalore. 32 years deserves that. And if it doesn't work, at least you will always know that you tried and I think you will be able to live with that. In any case, at least you got a nice little mini vacation and a break from the marriage scene for a couple days. Getting hit on by a stranger had to be a boost to you ego as well!

Good luck to you my Boomer sister!

HL...
Sorry...haven't been in much lately...just know I'm thinking of you...and supporting you in whatever you decide to do...take care of you...you are precious...

As I said before because I truly believe it. Most men are nothing more than naughty little boys with long pants and they need to be taught where the boundaries are, and made to adhere to them or they, just like little boys, will act up and push us to our limits...