Hannelore, definitely make a list, and before the session is over, pull it out to make sure you covered everything. It beats wondering about it until next session. No harm in having it.

Bonnierose, what a wonderful gesture to post a prayer thread for me? … Gee, for me. Thank you so very much. I believe your prayers area all helping. I found an inner strength that I didn't realize I had. Okay...I'll write that list now, I have an hour before I have to go.
Thanks again Laurel and Chick too.

Hannelore

Hannelore, how did it go...if you feel like sharing. Glad to hear your husband came home in a good mood. That's curious. I wonder if he gave the guy the whole picture. I guess you'll find out.

Okay everyone, I'm not allowed to talk to Hubby about this, but I sure can tell all of you.

I really liked the doctor, and I am drumming up all my positive feelings, hoping he can help us. He confirmed that we can't change my Hubby, but what I can change is my own attitude.

He asked me several times why I let it get to me like I do. He said whenever there are conflicts; I should physically leave the room or whatever. My first priority is protecting myself and that I shouldn't allow myself to get sucked into his "control" thing. If I'm not there for him to verbally lash out, or to show his cold shoulder then his actions disappear in thin air.

He also said I should feel like I am free…whether I am in a marriage or not. I am a free person and can decide for myself how much time I spend with my mother. I have to learn how to stand up to my decisions and not be influenced by Hubby's attitude.

If I stop allowing myself to be in the victim role, then in the long run Hubby may change. We'll see, and if not then I can always decide what I want to do then.

Gee, I feel like someone just pushed my shoulders back and lifted my chin. I feel taller.

Onward Soldiers !!!!

That is great Hannalore and interesting advice that many of us can use. Thank you for sharing. I'm so gald things are looking up for you. Keep that chin in the air!

Awesome! You'll start to feel better about yourself too.

Angel a chara...I am happy that you are a little happier and hopeful about the whole situation.
As ever in my thoughts

Popea

just checked in to see how you are doing, Hannelore..and i can see that you are trying to make things work and finding a way for yourself..whatever that turns out to be i am thinking of you and praying for you..hoping you have strength and happiness..and you seem to have both right now! Great about the houses!

i am going with a dear friend to visit her husband who has inoperable cancer in his shoulder (but it is in remission now. and on top of that he had a major stroke so he is in a wheelchair and totally dependent on others. his power of speech is very impeded so it´s mostly just my friend, his wife, who can understand him. some nurse told her the other day that he had only 2-6 months to live which was a total shock for her. and i am wondering if this nurse has the authority or medical knowledge to say this to her. i plan to gët to the bottom of this this afternoon.. my friend´s husband is only 55. life really deals us some tough blows. anything can happen at anytime, right? like your painting of a storm at sea.. just a thought, i guess, that may lead you whereever you want/need it to.

good luck and keep trying just as you are!!! and don´t forget yourself along the way! lots of love!

I've been away for a few days doing some things for my kids but wanted to drop in and tell you that you've been in my thoughts the entire time. I'm glad your counseling session went well and that you came away from it with renewed hope for youself. Sometimes all it takes is someone else to light the path in front of us to help us find our next steps. I'm proud of you and I pray that you'll find the strength to keep that chin up and those shoulders back as you go through this time of growth and healing.
Big hugs
Dee

What great advice you got! It's something we all need to be reminded of from time to time -- we don't have to pick up what the other person is dishing out.

Keep that chin up!