Micki started this post by sharing what's going on with her dad.

Update...he has been in and out of the hospital and lost 26 pounds. We are praying he's on the up and up. Gained a pound and a half this week.

Micki has rented her home and moved in with her dad to care for him.

Please keep them in your prayers. Thanks so much!

I think it is important to remember that the generation before us, when they die, they are teaching us also how to die.

The lesson may be from their mistake(s) or the way they handled it. It is very personal for every individual but I believe our parents continue to teach us even in their dieing.

So as we grieve and care for them in their final days, weeks, months, remember that we are still learning from them.

Lynn

Lynn, I had never thought of death as being a lesson, but that is a very astute observation.
My Dad died a couple of years ago and somehow I was at ease with it sooner than I expected. Maybe because in dying, he taught me acceptance. The funeral was strangely comforting. It was really more like a roast than a funeral and everyone laughed as much as they cried. Somehow that was so healing. My Dad's name is Hank. Afterward one of his friends said, "Boy Hank sure would have enjoyed this if he had been here."
Another friend said, "He was here." And I felt him there too. Though I still miss him, the laughter brought peace to his memory.

Loss of parents is such a normal part of life at this age, but still so very hard. Prayers for everyone facing it.
smile

Lynn and smile, boy does this post bring back memories.

I learned from my mom until her dying moment.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer that had already spread to the bone before they found it. Lots of pain.

She endured radiation and chemotherapy treatments to squeeze out a few more months on earth with her family. It was such selfless thing to do. In reality she may have been given a couple more weeks.

In her dying she taughts us the value of family and the act of courage among other things.

Now when I have to endure any medical tests or surgeries I think of mom and figure after what she went through, I can endure anything.

Shortly after her death I found a tumor behind my ear. I went from doctor, to doctor, to doctor in only two days. When something happens that fast and the doctor actually makes your appointment for you and sends you immediately to the next visit, you have to wonder.

I had a biopsy and then surgery was set up immediately. The doctor believed it was malignant and so did I. It was.

During that trying time, I had tremendous peace. I attributed it to my faith and the courage my mom displayed during her battle. While I layed on hospital beds, in tubes, and on tables, I pictured her as she layed on the same awaiting the next treatment, test, biopsy, prick, body invasion, or result. She always had a smile on her face and nice words to offer the doctors or technicians. She rarely shared her fears and was always a true woman in the best sense of the word.

When I take the time to think about her last days on earth I'm reminded over and over about her dedication to family and her courage to live and die with dignity.

Thanks for helping me recall those memories.

Cherished memories of such sadness mixed with such courage, lessons learned. I still have my mom who was 84 April 9th. I thank God nightly and sometime during the day for her and her long life. To those of you who have lost a Mother or Father, I pray for you.

Chatty, thanks! Cherish your moments with your mom. THey go so quickly.

Whenever a friend's mom dies I feel like we belong to the same club. I hope it's a long time before I belong to the orphan's club. I have those friends too and that must be really tough.

Micki - you and your Dad are in my prayers. It's never easy, taking care of someone, especially when they are in the final stages of life. A lot of the time the lessons are too close to see. I pray for you strength and courage and for your Dad, relief.

Thanks all for sharing your experiences. I lost my Mom 17 years ago, but still go into a tailspin in January. My Dad lives in California, I am in Illinois. I didn't know my Dad for 35 years, then I got to know him and what a great person that he is. He has CHF, diabetes, already had one kidney removed due to cancer, has emphesema, on oxygen 24 hours a day and insulin dependent. He went through 5 major surgeries last year and they barely saved his leg due to the diabetes. Right now he is in treatment for melanoma with little cancers all over his body. He is taking Chemo and it is a miracle that he has survived it. I am so far away, and I can't get there when I want to and my sister has Dad and her Mom who has leukemia and will undoubtedly die within the next few months. Know what makes me mad? I have only known my Dad for 14 years. I feel cheated out knowing him, and I see so much of him in me.

I know that he passed his writing genes to me. My book will be dedicated to him. I am self publishing so he can live his dream through me. I have dreams of possibly making a quick trip to California to take the book to him when it is finaly out. I would love to be closer to him, but then I think, I watched my Mom literally die by inches for over 18 months, could I bear to do that again? I know that God gives us strength for what we need, when we need it, and I depend on it.

Anyway, this thread gave me tons of emotional rips and I just felt I had to write what I was feeling.

Thanks for letting me do that.

Sherri

Dotsie, we can see that the apple did not fall far from the tree. You are courageous and so admirable to endure all those invasions and fears with the memory of your Mom in your mind.

I know those thoughts...what about my kids, my husband etc. You are really amazing.

I ahve a friend with a benign tumor on the base of her neck. She has not had surgery and I know this is on her mind every day.

Any words or thoughts for her?

Lynn

Lynn, tell her to call me, 1-877-bboomer. If she wants to email me first to set up a time that's fine, dots@boomerwomenspeak.com.

I'd love to talk with her.