I was a regular poster for a long time here, but my father was diagnosed with esophogeal cancer about 4 weeks ago and I have been in a tailspin ever since. My mother died in 1998 of CHF and multiple organ failure, and then my husband died in 2000 of colorectal cancer. My Dad is doing everything he should do (chemo, radiation, etc.) but is still pretty sick. They said even if the treatments work, he would have less than 5 years. Of course, without them he would have less than 5 months.

I am SO thrown by this. My Dad is a very young 79--always doing for and helping everyone else out. I just can't believe that he has this terrible illness and that he is going to leave this world like this. I always thought it would be his heart. His siblings are all gone now and they all 6 had heart problems, as well as both parents. Two (older brother and younger sister) had sudden, fatal heart arrythmias and went very peacefully, and another sister, who had uterine cancer that was detected very late in the game, crossed over during the surgery to implant her chemo port of arrythmia.

We dealt with my husband's cancer, and it took almost 5 years and ended in a very terrible and cruel manner. Dad and I were both there at the end and we both said we would never go through what Tim did. Well, now I am facing watching my father suffer with the same disease. I am praying that this treatment works and he can have some quality of life for the last few years he has left, barring a miracle cure (which I am REALLY praying for).

Thanks for letting me vent. I am really not a whiner, but am limited as to whom I can let go to.

Micki

Micki, A friend of mine in his fifties was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2000. He died last year, but not from cancer. The cancer diagnosis was either wrong or he experienced a miraculous healing. (I prefer to believe he was miraculously healed)

There was no doubt as to the diagnosis at the time, but later exams proved there was no cancer. His death was from cirrhosis of the liver resulting from untreated hepatitis and poisons he encountered during his service in Viet Nam. At the time of his death there was no evidence of cancer.

I also lost my father recently so I know this must be a hard time for you. I will remember you in my prayers.

smile

Micki,
Please feel free to vent anytime. That's what were all here for. You will be in my prayers.
Maggie

Micki,
Bless your heart hon. I won't pretend to know what you are going through, but I do relate somewhat. My Daddy has a fatal dementia (aren't they all?) that, according to statistics, will take his life either this year or next. Who knows for sure?

Every night when I visit him I wonder if this is the last time I will see him alive. So, in a way, I do understand your need to vent, and I do understand you frustrations. I do hold you and your Daddy in my prayers. I would ask that you do the same for me.

Love,

JJ

Micki, you're not a whiner at all. Our prayers and love go out to you.

Micki

I have such great memories of your Dad, Mom, and my grandparents together. I am so sorry that you and your Dad have to go through this again.
I'm praying for you both and getting updates from my mom and Pop-pop.

This is my dad's dear friend. They've been friends since they were in the Korean War together.

We are praying for a miracle! Gotta believe in miracles. I witnessed a recent one in my friend's mom who beat cancer. No one could believe it, or explain it...even the doctors.

Micky,

I will keep you in my prayers. Never give up hope and know that you have people who care and want the best for you.

Micki,

We buried my Dad a year ago yesterday from a sudden heart attack. I feel for you but you are compounded by all the recent losses.

You do not whine. Just pour your heart out here and we will pick up the pieces for you.

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this past September and we are going through all the treatments.

I know what it feels llike to not have any place to go with your thoughts and fears. Come hear it helps believe me.

email me if you want and we can provide support to each other. We are in the same state at least.

Keep coming back and posting. Amidst the turmoil you need to find an outlet.

You are in my prayers and know you are loved fromt he group.

Lynn

Lynn, how did you manage the first year after your Dad's death? I remember people talking about the first year after a loved one's death, but until I experienced it first hand with my mom I couldn't relate to what they were talking about. Now I know.

The anniversary of her death is St. Patrick's Day. I'll be visiting the cemetery soon. I'm actually looking forward to it. I like having the time to spend with just her. Do you visit your dad's grave site? Some people do, some don't. Just gotta do what works.

[ March 09, 2004, 11:20 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]