Agate, this post has been staring me in the face for days now so I'm going to answer.

I dont' know if I should, but I feel sorry that my kids don't know their birth parents. I believe they could put together some missing pieces for them.

I've read lots written by adopted children and I totally understand the feeling for a need to search and connect.

Two of our kids are adopted and one may like to search. I will do what I can to help. The other has NO interest, at least at this time.

We have friends who also have a biological and adopted child from Korea. We talk about traveling to the country together. My son has no desire, actually said, "Why would we go there?", but my daughter again, has interest.

All kids are different. When I would share this with my mom who had five, sorta with the idea that our three all have different birth parents, she reminded me about the differences in my brother and sisters and we had the same birth parents.

I remain torn about genetics and environment. I look at my kids and can't put a finger on much. In fact my adopted son has the very same allergies as my husband, and my daughter was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, my husband has Type I. Go figure.

Our birth child has no allergies or Diabetes.

I truly appreciate your honesty on the subject.

Your comment about feeling like a replacement child doesn't ring true for me at all. When we adopted our children we had never experienced a loving extension of our family before, so what would we have been replacing? I know that sounds odd, but it's the truth for me.

Where was you friend raised? I think that makes a difference. It's been easier to raise our children in Baltimore because they are not the only Asian children, nor are they the only adopted, Asian children.

Another friend whose adopted Korean son is older was raised during his early years in a small town in New York. When he was about 4 years old he saw Asian people on television and said, "Look Daddy, more Gary's." (not his real name).

I'd love to read your friend's book. How can I get it?

Sorry to bounce around. I have lots of thoughts on this and welcome more posts.

Anyone else have anything to say? Join in. I know there are others with adopted children in here.