I've been writing about my mom being in a nursing home and trying to do the right thing as far as caring for her physically and emotionally, but I've got a couple other parents I'm also worried about losing.

I'm adopted and my birth parents, 2 sisters and a brother live in Arizona. Another sister and brother live in California. I met them all about 5 years ago. My birth father, 1 brother, and 1 sister visited me this summer and afterward, I felt like we knew each other a lot better and we were getting more comfortable around each other (it's been difficult because of the travel distance).

My birth father has prostate cancer and he's doing okay but I feel a real time crunch as far as getting to know him as best I can. My birth mother, well, she's kind of unstable and prone to angry outbursts but I'd like to see her too. So I'm planning on going to Arizona around the end of January. I hate to leave my mom here, but I haven't taken a vacation in a year and a half.

Is there anyone else out there that's adopted and found their birth family and wrestled with the feelings of being disloyal to the parents that raised you, but really wanting to know your birth parents too?

My birth father is more open to talking about the past and how he feels about the whole thing and listening to what I have to say. My birth mom, I don't know if it's the guilt she seems to feel or that she has a psychological problem, but she's like being around a very immature child, prone to tantrums, tears, and just general meanness. In a way, that lessens any feelings of insecurity my adoptive mother might have because all my birth siblings want to trade with me. My mom met my 3 sisters and they treated her like a queen.

It's complicated, and wonderful, in a twisted, tornado kind of way.