While I don't have an answer to this question, it may depend on who you are dealing with.

One thing I've learned: Value and respect yourself. It's the best tool yet. Valueing and respecting yourself usually generates respect.

There's a few instances I remember when a certain person has attempted to put me down and I've stopped this person. Of course, they don't expect it. But it has stopped the mean or derogatory comment right away. With a simple: "You have no right to disrespect me or put me down" or a "Watch how you refer to me, please".

I wish you success in your quest for self esteem.
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In His love, Songbird
http://expressionpublishingministries.com
www.inkspirationsbyrhodi.blogspot.com
NABBW & NAWW