This is an excellent post Jane and I can pinpoint almost to the day when I had my "aha" moment. I worked for a VP and he was very moody. He had a hard time keeping help because he was so harsh and outspoken. I was determined to stay with little snot but he was chipping away at my self-esteem and I was allowing it to happen. Little by little he would say something derogatory about my performance in front of his other VP peers and it was so embarrassing. He was an emotional bully. He was also a small man and finally I realized that he had the "big me, little you" complex. He knew I needed a job and would take it. But what he didn't count on was my "raising."

One day I was mulling over what to do about him when something Daddy told me hit me. You are worth what YOU-----YOU think you are worth. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. They can insinuate anything they want to, but only YOU can make YOU feel bad about it. If it isn't true, then why would you believe it anyway?"

I remember I was so fed up with him and had been in the bathroom crying and sulking. Then I thought, "What's the worst thing that can happen? He can only fire me once." From that day forward I would bite him back whenever he insulted me in front of our co-workers. I did it gradually, and I did it with "wit" and guess what? He loved it. He started treating me with respect, little by little of course, but our working relationship changed.

And it changed with the way HIS peers (other VPs) treated me as well because by that time I had grown in the self-esteem department and noooooooooooobody was gonna make me feel bad, or I should say "infer" something and then I would make my own self feel bad. NOBODY.

Life changed for me that day. I started looking at everyone differently. I was no longer afraid. Does that make sense?

I still have some issues and I would discuss those with you, but then I'd have to kill you.