I have stood back reading these post not wanting to get involved. It is so near to me and at the same time NOT dear to me. My grandmother was in an assisted living facility and it cost her 40K per year of her own money the two years she was there. And we got a discount.

She received terrible care 90% of the time, and the "rules" there, along with the employees working there, were moving targets. They changed almost daily and I think they made them up as they went along. The staff hated each other and were constantly bickering. The turn overs were unreal.

I went every weekend to visit her staying all day and into the night, Sat and Sundays. My Mother went every day. We tried to make up for the lack of care and found ourselves being depended on by the other residents as well. Of course we fell in love with the other patients and mourn for them when they passed. This in itself was depressing.

My grandmother fell numerous times and no one could ever give a reason. One time while visiting, we found ALL of the alzheimers patients locked in their rooms. When we questioned it, we were told the STATE demanded it. As it turned out, NOT.

We became a torn in their side for two years. My other sisters lived there (I lived 60 miles away) and they were constantly popping in at all hours of the day and night until we had the staff so confused they didn't know when we would arrive. My grandmother's care improved. We saw abuse, neglect, and occassionally, we saw tenderness and love from some of the workers. It took every dime my grandmother had and she was 98 when she died.

Other side of the coin:

My Dad is in the VA home here. Some things are not as good as I wish they were, but over all this enivironment is soooo much better and the STATE DOES pay for part of his bill there because he is a veteran. The rest of it comes from Mother/Dad's own money. The people there, for the most part, are loving and kind. I would pay them any thing I own to have them be that way if I had to...but, I don't. I have come to know and love them all. It is far from perfect, but Daddy is happy there. I know this was more about money than anything else, but the other part needs/has to be considered as well. Okay, I'm done. Whew...