Teri, I send you my sympathy and prayers because I also lost my father to a rapid cancer this year. I found strength in my faith but also was surprised at the way grief crept up on me at the oddest times...and I did a lot of my crying alone in the car when driving. (Fortunately no accidents!) So much so my children thought I really hadn't cried much...not true. I also found writing a great release and way of working through the complex emotions. One of the biggest blessings sent to me was that during the busiest worrying times when Dad was near the end I could get into bed at night and put my head on the pillow, pray, and be in a restful sleep in minutes - not my usual night owl sleep pattern!
It was one of those saving blessings sent from above.
Love