Lil,
Dear Lil. If I ever need care, I want you there. I don't have answers for your post, and I will say my first inclination was to give her the boot. However, I do believe she has several things against her and one of them being a language barrier. She also obviously has some mental problems. I wish I had clear cut, and precise guidelines to give you, but alas I have never suffered the actions she has displayed. I will tell only that prayer does help, and will certainly pray that you will be given, along with your husband, the strength and guidance you need to cope.

think you are so strong to be able to do such a great job of keeping everyone from what? killing each other? hurt feelings? feelings of unworthiness and of being unloved? Maybe all of the above. My hats off to you dear girl...If I were her, I know I would be so grateful to have a dauther-in-law who cared so deeply for me. She should be thanking the good Lord above...not counteracting every thing you try to do for her.