Wasn't sure what kind of face to put on this one because I have a lot of mixed feelings about this.

The more I read and talk to doctors lately, the more I realize that my father is working himself into an early grave.

I've known this for a while, but it wasn't until I had my physical and talked to my doctor about the family history of heart disease and explained that my father had seven bypasses at 49 three years ago, still smokes, has a lot of stress in his life, and doesn't eat the way he should (better than he did, but still not the way he should). She told me that the average length of time someone usually goes from having bypass surgery till when they will need another surgery or have another heart attack is about seven years. WIth my father smoking as much as he does (and not taking any of the medication he was suppose to and not seeing a cardiologists) she gives him four or five years. Which means in probably two years I will watch him go through the same thing again, and possibly pay for it with his life this time.

WHile I have known he needs to take care of himself, it was hard for me to push him while his mother was dying of cancer last year. I also know he won't listen to me, which hurts my feelings because it's like he doesn't care about being around anymore. He has even told me this before.

I have spoken to a psychiatrist friend who believes a family intervention is the best. This way you say what's on your mind, how his actions make you feel, how you want to help, and suggest some things, but know it is up to him. BUt aftre that, no nagging about it.

The problem with this is that there is no family. My mom and him are estranged and it wouldn't be a good idea to involve her. My brother would never stand up to my father and would never agree to help me confront my Dad on this. My father doesn't get along with his brother and doesn't really have any close friends.

I also feel like I've kind of lost my impact in the confrontation arena since I am always the one confronting him about things and he has grown to cope with my confrontation by just ignoring me. I also worry about him thinking of me taking up this role because his mother used to do it, bringing up all kinds of feelings about losing his mom.

I know I am going to have a talk with him about this and will probably tell my brother what I'm doing to see if he would like in on it or would say something to my Dad too.

Anyway, wish me luck and give me any suggestions please.

Also, for those of you who know me and my family, please do not mention this to anyone in the family. I'll be a little upset if my trust in the forum was betrayed.