I can completely commiserate with your entanglement in all these blended and ex-family members. It's a mess. And you're right, no matter what you do someone is going to be p*ssed off and unhappy.

I am de facto married to the ex wife from hell. They've been divorced almost 22 years, we've been married more than 20, and still I cannot shake this woman. Part of that is due to the fact that my husband's mother (the hypochondriac) is particularly fond of her because she's a nurse. The MIL still invites her to family reunions and even though the kids from that long ago marriage are now in their 30's, the ex-wife in collusion with the mother in law are still are playing manipulative games with my husband. I now know that as long as all the players in this drama are alive, it will never stop.

My daughter spent 6 months with us here in Moscow last year and knows how much I dislike the in-law/ex-wife/step children fiasco. She looked and me and said "how much farther away from those people do you need to get?"

Maybe China. After all these years I cannot, will not, deal with it any more. Not. Color me on the other side of the planet.