NL, I can't even imagine how you are doing this.

You are still living under the same roof with a man you suspect is harming your grandchildren? And he has no idea that you suspect him?

How sure are you? Have the children said anything to you, or is it their actions?
And the mother says she won't take her children because she feels smothered? Does your daughter truly suspects her X as well?

Lots of questions here. I don't know how you are handling this. Thank God you have friends and neighbors who can take the children.

Praying that your grandchildren have never been touched or harmed.