I also am recovering from the fallout of divorce. In my case my husband hid behind his lawyer for 2 yrs. (I went without any of his fianancial support yet was left to shoulder every debt we had both created during that time.) At the end of 2 yrs when I went to court there was nothing the judge could offer me since he was going to be sentenced in Federal Court the following week. I got nothing. And even though the court knew he was causing delay after delay, they did nothing to force him into court earlier to help with our finances.

I think, just my opinion, that we still lay too much value on a man and their ability to care for us. I know in my case it never ocured to me to keep some money seperated in my name only as an 'in case'. Any time I got a small windfall I added it to the family account. I was helping, I was contributing to the family--or so I thought.

I understand the FEAR in a woman to stay for financial reasons but I think the loss to her self-esteem and self worth, not to mention the quality of life has to be a very high price indeed. One that may not be measurable until much later--and too late to change anything.

I am saddened to see women making the same mistakes all over again out of FEAR. Rushing into new relationships just so there's someone to take care of them. We need to teach our daughters that it's OK to live without a man if necessary and that it's OK to be independant if that's their choice.