Chuck and I were invited to attend a cancer survivors' support group that recently started up in our area. We went to our first meeting last night, and frankly I wasn't expecting many people.

The room was packed. So many people, with so many different stories, but all dealing with the sane Beast. There were a lot of tears shed; a lot of bravery and faith. And an instant forming of bonds between people who'd never know each other before.

There was a couple sitting next to me who I was chatting with at the end of the meeting. It turned out that Chuck was scheduled to drive him to his treatment this morning, which is where he is now.

I don't think I've ever seen so much love and caring in one place. It was a perfect way to spend Velentine's Day evening.

Jackie, I'm so glad to hear of your positive experience with a support group. After Gary's stroke we learned of the support groups for many different diseases.

I'm kind of sad because my mother-in-law who had breast cancer about 35 years ago had no support group to go to. She wasn't even able to talk to anyone who had gone through the same surgery before or after she had hers.

Times sure have changed, and for the better in this respect. It really helps to talk to people who have gone through the same things.

[ February 15, 2006, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

This is the first support group Chuck and I have gone to for cancer patients, survivors and their caretakers. The other groups we've been to have been for specific cancers, and we didn't come out of any of them feeling comfotable. This is a brand new one that the Regional Cancer Center in Nashua, where people come for treatments, is sponsering. I was blown away by the support and compassion I found there. It's taken us 9 years to find a group like this!

Jackie...So glad to hear that you have finally found a group where you can feel comfortable.
I can't go to support groups of any kind as yet.
It seems like every one that I become involved with, all they do is talk about their problems and don't want to get on with life. I don't know, maybe I'm being to insensitive?
Lynne

Hi. I found that the support group members talked about problems so they could solve them so they could get on with life. No one wanted to stay stuck in the cancer victim role. We did so many wonderful things in our cancer support group that helped us move on. It's been 2 years since the end of my cancer experience and I am thinking of joining a group again. Because the one lingering question is if and when cancer will return. Groups change dynamics with each change of member(s) so what didn't work one time might work at another time. LL, L

Lynnie,
I saw on TV about a cancer support group through the PC . You can contact people . Not sure of the web site. My friend has the carcinoid cancer of the liver and is being treated with chemo , but the tumor is not skrinking at this time and only 25% of her liver is functioning . Makes me very sad .

Renee, isn't it hard to watch friends and family suffer?

Perhaps this is a good place to ask those who have been through treatments:

What was it that others did for you that made you feel better when you were smack-dab in the middle of treatments? I'd love to know.

Dotsie,
Yes, it is hard to see my friend being sick . She has been my friends for over 38 years . Long lasting friendship . Her brother started a Yahoo support group for her so we can keep track of her progress and her chemo treatments.

Renee

Several answers here, I hope.

Dotsie, the best thing anyone could give me when I was having my radiation treatments was a hug. One thing Chuck and I found -- and we've since heard from other cancer patients -- is that a lot of people you know will back away from you when they find out you have cancer. You need to accept that they can't be there for you and go on, being grateful to those who can.

I got lots of cards and notes from friends, which I kept with me in the apartment we stayed in in Boston for those 5 weeks. I also used coloring books as art therapy.

There are many cancer suport groups on the internet. Chuck actually owns one for cancer survivors that used to be very active. Now it's pretty quiet, because most of us are too busy celebrating life to spend much time there.

Yes, people talk about their problems in support groups. They also comfort each other and offer encouragement. Chuck and I were invited to this one because we've been cancer-free for a while and do a lot of volunteer work for the American Cancer Society. I have find that people whose lives have been touched by cancer share an instant bond. At least the ones I've met do.

Dotsie, one thing is this: sometimes I wanted to be left alone. And I was glad for when my friends and family respected that. Cards helped a lot. I appreciated and saved every single card, whether funny or sappy. Each and every phone call meant something. The question, "Can I give you a hug?" meant a lot.