I went down more, I'm afraid. Just hanging on by my fingernails. I went to the therapist yesterday, who called the NIH doctor. He is supposed to call me with a change in meds, today. So I'm waiting by the phone, watching movies. I'm going to try to clean today.

A very good friend called today. She's separated from her husband, who suffers from bad depression. He'd up and working now and called today also. David told me how he felt at his worse, which is how I'm feeling now. This gives me some hope, as now he's up and working.

My friend is vacationing in Florida this week, but gave me her cell phone number, just in case. Between the two of them, this helps knowing someone who knows how you feel.

I still feel so guilty posting these letters, when I want to be upbeat and cheery.

All of your letters mean so much to me. You don't know.

LOve,
Emily in Maryland

Emily, post away, dear friend; we are here for you.

But ....
I am getting more concerned about you. Doesn't your insurance cover an emergency for MH? This needs to be dealt with sooner, rather than later. Hope is great, but you need help. No one should have to live this way.

If you need to post 100 times a day, to get it out, to reach out, please do. Please, we are here for you as we know you will be here for us once you are better.

Please try to find a way to get good help, soon.

the cheerie post will come just stick with how you are at the minuet, you aint bothering anyone so please, please dont feel guilt over it...

i also think your meds should be giving you some relife, i just echoing what anno says but is their any emergincy you can gett to see....

not that your writting is a bother just for yout own comphort in life.

god bless

Hang in there. Once they get your meds adjusted you'll even out. I know how difficult it is to wait and feel so down. Is the weather good enough for you to go outside? The sun always lifts my moods.

Please don't apologize for writing here. We want to be here for you and will!

The weather is great here and I will be taking the children out for the whole afternoon.

Today, I'm feeling a bit better again. Maybe this is going to be a two steps forward one back kind of thing.

The NIH doctor forgot to call me last night, so tonight I will call him.

I'm taking a few days off from trying to find a new therapist. My old one says he'll keep seeing me for now.
It's the same situation all of you have been discussing -- insurance. My insurance must be lousy, because I've only found one other therapist who takes it. The therapists I'd like to work with and feel comfortable with don't take my insurance. The therapist who does take my insurance is the one I'm not really comfortable with.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy this nice day I'm having.

It feels so much better to post happy thoughts.

LOve to all of you.

Emily in Maryland

Emily,
Sunshine does help! I know you'll find the perfect therapist who accepts your insurance...keep your chin up!

Emyjay

CLICK ME!

EMYJAY
(had to do over, because I accidently deleted some frames - above click me button doesn't work anymore)

emyjay, just jumping in to say I'm proud of you for taking the kids out all day. That's awesome. I'm also happy to know that having your friends to call on gives you hope. I'm trusting this warmer weather is helping.

Picture us pushing you out the door to be in the sunshine. It's so good for us. Soak up those rays. We're pulling for you.

Emily,

Hope you had a better day...we're still with you!