Dear Eagle,

I'm glad to hear that you were planting flowers. To me, that means that you're coping with the grieving process.
You are actively choosing to stay in touch with life.

Oh, Eagle, the touching things you said about me caused my heart to beat a bit faster.

Just as you do and have done and likely will continue to do, I try to use my challenges to help others . . . especially those who don't know what is happening to them or to someone very close to them.

As I said in my other post about your book, I've never read a any other book or an article that so closely describes "how" depression "feels."

And it was interesting to learn that you were thinking about me, because all last night, when I just couldn't sleep, I was thinking about you!

I'm in the process of trying to find a therapist with whom I can "click."

The one I saw Wednesday night spent most of my session biting her fingernails to the quick and telling me how she had to go to therapy to learn that her skills were worth the money she now charges. A minister at a Lutheran church I very infrequently attend suggested her. After two meetings, I've learned a bit, but a red flag is going up.

I told her that I had a really bad time last year when school was out and my job was over for the summer. I told her that my former therapist would let me sit in his waiting room with a book -- or just sit there -- whenever the loneliness I was feeling or panic attacks became overwhelming.

She replied, "well that's not going to happen here!" I'm using the exclamation point to indicate her tone of voice.

I have such bad panic attacks and my other therapist, bless his heart, always took a few minutes to call me and reassure me that the attack would end. Maybe I was spoiled.

But, if a therapist knows that a patient suffers from bad panic attacks, I would think a compassionate therapist would take a few minutes to help the patient calm down.

What do you and anyone else reading this point think? I'm in the DC area, which has the highest number of therapist and pscy Dr. in the country. (Now, that's a scary thought!)

Oh, I just looked up and saw your sign-off, Eagle. Think I'll write that down on a 3"x5" card and carry it in my purse.

Better close as my long posts seem to get blocked.

Love,
Emily