On a one to ten scale with ten being happy, I'd say that I'm five right now, which is much, much better than a week ago.

As long as I'm five or above, I feel well enough to take action, which is the only way that I'm going to find new interests and meet new friends.

Dotsie - When we bought this house - it was my husband's great-grandfathers house, everyone in my neighborhood, except for three ladies about my age, were retired. When they were alive, it was pretty nice because I had babysitters and cookie makers and garden experts all around me! Then, they all started to die. This was not good as I was losing someone once a year or less.

I wanted to move so badly. I wanted to live in a neighborhood where we could meet couples our own age - I wanted to be able to make "lifelong" friendships.

But money was tight at the time and our house payments were low. So, we stayed and now all of our neighbors are twenty or so years younger than we are. So, I feel "left out." I mean people are kind, but they are at a different stage in their lives. So, that's why I'm so upset about the two neighbors, who are about my age, moving.

I've been used to walking around talking with people working in their gardens, etc. Now, I hardly really "know" anyone.

Also, I used to drive my neighbors around so they could do their errands and I felt good because they were so happy to get out of their homes.

Oh, well. Enough whining.

Church isn't really a good idea right now because I'm having a bit of a "spiritual" crisis. (I was brought up in a very negative fundamentalist church.) Long story. But I'm moving in the direction of grace, goodness, love, and peace. It's hard to erase those old tapes. But I am - very slowly.

Thanks again, to all of you who are staying in contact with me. I hope to feel so good, one day, that I can be of help to all of you, when the challenges of life seem overwhelming.

Blessings to all,

Love,

Emily in Maryland