Anne327, sorry I never heard of Corda. I googled it, and couldn't find it either. Are you sure that's the way it's spelled?
A song on stalking! Hah! What an idea. Can't wait to read the lyrics.

Just got the energy to check in. Was dealing with a little stomach flu this week. I was just making it to work.

Anne, so sorry for the loss of your Mom. You sound like you're doing great!

Well, ladies, wish I could say I was feeling even 80% better but would say feeling 40% is more like it. I do feel like doing some cleaning today. But I hate to clean, so I'm planning to watch the college playoff basketball games this afternoon. I do really forget myself when watching them and my husband and I are in his office pool, so that's fun for me.

I know I need to stay at work, but ladies, I think I'm burning out. It's really hard for me these days to keep up with the kids. Mostly we're very understaffed and I'm left by myself for most of my shifts. At my other site, I had staff members close to my age so we always exhanged hellos and talked.

I've been promised a staff person, but my supervisor can't find one. So, I see an adult in the morning, then go all day alone, then work most of my shift alone. This isn't fun. But I'm not a brain surgeon, meaning not qualified to do many jobs.

Hoping someone around my age comes along and takes the job.
It's really overwhelming with me and the kids alone. Then, cleaning on the weekends after four dogs.

I have to change my mind to a more positive mindset. I know this, but needed to "gripe" this morning. Hope all of you are sincere when you say venting is allowed on this site.

What I'm saying is that I need to have more fun. Even if it's fun by myself, right now.

Don't know if anyone read one of my posts, but I'm looking for humorous, uplifting books to read. Reading provided rest for my mind, during one of my depressions.

Still haven't got a doctor. I'll have to search harder this week. The NIH (National Institutes of Health Dr.) only sees patients once or twice. He sees you for several hours, listens, is doing all kinds of mathematical equations at the same time, and then gives his recommendations. Then, he usually works with a psychiatrist or therapist and contacts a primary care with prescriptions. I was doing the primary care and therapist combo when I lost Bruce (therapist). Dr. NIH is returning my calls and thinks we need to adjust meds some. I agree.

His theory is that meds need to be adjusted in the case of chronic depression (my diagnosis) depending on stressors in the persons life and also changes in body chemistry.

So, I am so thankful I have him on my side. So thankful.

Now I need to find that middle man. My old therapist is seeing me off and on, but only once every two weeks. Not enough right now.

It snowed here last night. Pretty, but cold in this room.
Will check in later.

You ladies have helped me more than you know. Just being able to write what I'm feeling sure helps.

(((((Anne)))))

Love to all,
Emily

Emily,
I sent you a PM. Enjoy watching the game...cleaning can wait! I hope you get a work buddy soon and a good therapist...Hang in there!

good to hear how it has been going for you...hope you feel less excousted soon.

Emily, glad to hear you are feeling better, even if only just a little bit. I am glad that the Dr is working with you on the meds. I too, have chronic depression, and recently my insurance decided to just up and change my prescription for one of my anti-depressants because of financial savings. I have been dizzy and easily frustrated and angered ever since. This is not okay to live this way.

Anne - love the way you have handled your life upsets. And, lvoe the song. I did see it posted somewhere else, but couldn't quite get the rythm. This time I did. Very fun.

Anne327...you got me snappin' my fingers. (snap ..hmm, snap…hmm)
You would be a great writer for Fasching time in Germany. These are the kinds of lyrics they bring on stage and get thousands, (I'm not kidding, thousands!) a swinging, and a singing, and a clapping along. Keep on writing, it's not only a great therapy, maybe you can make it public some day somewhere!

Anno and friends,

I'm getting scared. Still not feeling like I should with my meds. It's Sunday and I dread going to work tomorrow.

I am feeling guilty about complaining again. But I don't want to feel this way and my husband just doesn't understand why I can't snap out of it. I can't either, to tell you the truth. This is stupid.

I can't eat. I need to lose weight, so I guess this is a good thing. But I feel sick to my stomach. Just can't eat.

My team lost, but the games have been a good diversion. Anyone think of any books yet.

Anne, I agree with Anno - I love the way you handle life's upsets.

Love,
Emily

Hi Emily. I know that it's hard to be patient when you're not feeling the way you think you should. Being ill on top of starting a new regimen is probably why. Medications sometimes take a while to kick in, even if it's something you've taken before. Our body chemistry changes, sometimes from day to day, and what worked fast before may take a little longer. My experience with this comes from working in the psych field for many years, and from being in the same place where you are now.

Hang in there, and don't feel guilty about what you call complaining, because it isn't. It's how you feel, and depression/anxiety isn't something we just snap out of even if we think we should.

Emily, when you open your feelings and heart here, it is not to complain. It is to reach out to those who want to help and understand you. I am concerned for you and your well being and want to be here for you. I speak for myself but I know other here feel the same.

Consider this a place to come and vent all that is in you. I do. Some day you can be my rock.

I am not sure what books you are looking for but JJ has a great humor book and it sure lifted my spirits when I needed a good laugh and release. Reading about someone you can relate to (on here) made it all the more worthwhile.

Emily, we are your bestest friends, come here and know that we need you as much as you need us. We really do care and want to know how you are doing.

Emily, how about renting some funny movies? I've heard they are very healing. Maybe the stomach will settle down after a while and your body adjusts to them. Have you spoken to the doctor about your symptoms?