Just got the energy to check in. Was dealing with a little stomach flu this week. I was just making it to work.

Anne, so sorry for the loss of your Mom. You sound like you're doing great!

Well, ladies, wish I could say I was feeling even 80% better but would say feeling 40% is more like it. I do feel like doing some cleaning today. But I hate to clean, so I'm planning to watch the college playoff basketball games this afternoon. I do really forget myself when watching them and my husband and I are in his office pool, so that's fun for me.

I know I need to stay at work, but ladies, I think I'm burning out. It's really hard for me these days to keep up with the kids. Mostly we're very understaffed and I'm left by myself for most of my shifts. At my other site, I had staff members close to my age so we always exhanged hellos and talked.

I've been promised a staff person, but my supervisor can't find one. So, I see an adult in the morning, then go all day alone, then work most of my shift alone. This isn't fun. But I'm not a brain surgeon, meaning not qualified to do many jobs.

Hoping someone around my age comes along and takes the job.
It's really overwhelming with me and the kids alone. Then, cleaning on the weekends after four dogs.

I have to change my mind to a more positive mindset. I know this, but needed to "gripe" this morning. Hope all of you are sincere when you say venting is allowed on this site.

What I'm saying is that I need to have more fun. Even if it's fun by myself, right now.

Don't know if anyone read one of my posts, but I'm looking for humorous, uplifting books to read. Reading provided rest for my mind, during one of my depressions.

Still haven't got a doctor. I'll have to search harder this week. The NIH (National Institutes of Health Dr.) only sees patients once or twice. He sees you for several hours, listens, is doing all kinds of mathematical equations at the same time, and then gives his recommendations. Then, he usually works with a psychiatrist or therapist and contacts a primary care with prescriptions. I was doing the primary care and therapist combo when I lost Bruce (therapist). Dr. NIH is returning my calls and thinks we need to adjust meds some. I agree.

His theory is that meds need to be adjusted in the case of chronic depression (my diagnosis) depending on stressors in the persons life and also changes in body chemistry.

So, I am so thankful I have him on my side. So thankful.

Now I need to find that middle man. My old therapist is seeing me off and on, but only once every two weeks. Not enough right now.

It snowed here last night. Pretty, but cold in this room.
Will check in later.

You ladies have helped me more than you know. Just being able to write what I'm feeling sure helps.

(((((Anne)))))

Love to all,
Emily