Thanks Jane, Chick and Dianne for offering so much wisdom and for not making me feel uncomfortable about really letting my feelings out.

Confession: Diane, I did go off of my meds for around three weeks, so this is week one of being back on them. I was feeling go good. Won't do that again. Not worth all of this I'm now going through.

I like that analogy of not hearing grass struggling to grow or fruit either. Little words of wisdom like that really help me when I'm in deep. I can absorb them; it's more difficult to try to read a book on the subject of the "d" word. I can't even stand to say that word now.

And thanks Jane for pointing out that at least I'm in tune with my feelings. Just wish I was happy and didn't have the negative feelings. Maybe I'm being unrealistic.

It's just that since I've overcome depression before, I can't stand even feeling somewhat down, angry or anxious. It's like if I had had a heartattack, a gas pain would scare me.

Chick, you're loving words touch me, as do everyone's.

I'm usually a better writer than I am right now, but I'm just letting whatever come out. Not worried about spelling, either.

I will feel better if I acknowledge how I feel and stop wasting so much energy fighting and being angry at myself.

I'll get there, but right now the feelings are just overwhelming.

Hope I'm not upsetting anyone.

Love,

Emily in Maryland