I can't thank you ladies enough for your support, especially since I've only been posting on this site for a short time.

Dianne has it on the nose with how I was raised. I'm working on that area, trying to hard breaks me down, though.

Like today, I started crying at work and had to step into the closet till the kids left. I just turned everything over to my coworker and I don't know what she thinks of me.

I called my old therapist while in the closet and he called me back. He talked me out of it and out of the closet. I told him how difficult it is to find a new "him" and he has agreed to see me Saturday morning. NOt looking forward to getting up early - again - but it's good to know someone is going to see me.

He wants me to take a few days off, but I can't. We are so short staffed and my supervisor went on a retreat.

I'm just going to put movies on for the kids and take my little tv so that I can watch the basketball tournament that I love. I need to focus on as many things that I like to do that I can, right now. I need to surround myself with colors I like and eat foods I like.

I need to get into my coping with a depression episode routine. That includes all of my favorites, as I've said, plus letting go of my negative feelings in a productive way.

It scares me when I cry or feel angry. But the crying jag I had lets me know that I need to do something physical. And I need to hold it in when I have to and let it out when I can. Like right now. Need to go have a good cry.

Thank you, dear ones, for opening up to me, for your words of encouragement and great advice.

Love to all,
Emily in Maryland