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#10972 - 08/26/05 05:13 PM
About that cancer...
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Member
Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 154
Loc: FL
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Dotsie asked if I'd share a bit more about my--ahem--physical condition, and I figured it really didn't belong in our hairstyle thread, so I'm posting here. Basically around three-and-a-half years ago, I started having some female troubles. Figured it was that "age and stage", but had a minor operation to correct things. Didn't really help, so I had a second surgery. That helped for a while, then things got worse and worse. By that point I had grown a cantaloupe-sized fibroid on the front of my uterus, which promptly also attached itself to my bladder, and there was a secondary grapefruit-sized fibroid hidden behind the melon. We were trying to avoid more surgery, and were working with medication/chemicals. But finally, continuous hemorrhaging took me dangerously low in red cells (hemoglobin went to around 7, and didn't come back, so we were looking at transfusions) it was decided that there was no avoiding a hysterectomy. I was always assured it was NOT cancer. However, when the pathology came back on the uterus, it was cancerous. My doc said he suspected it when he saw it, but he knew better than to say anything to me until he had proof from the lab. (He actually had them run it twice before telling me.) It was stage 1 endometrial cancer. I honestly don't think I had cancer during the whole couple year adventure, or it would have been much worse. I think I just had a series of unfortunate related problems that ended with cancer. As for the shoulder, we still don't know what happened there. I had been taking it very easy since my surgery (6 months ago) but I kept noticing that my shoulder hurt badly at night. Sometimes, the pain from rolling over on it would wake me out of a dead sleep and it was miserable--much more so than the surgery recovery. So, I go in for a MRI and it shows that the shoulder is a mess with inflammation, scar tissue, bone spurs, and wonder of wonders, a torn rotator cuff. So, I went under the knife for a second time in 6 months, bringing my three-and-a-half year total to 4--count 'em 4--surgeries. Okay, so let me continue the whine...though they can't say for sure what caused it (they suspect the treatments and surgeries) I ended up with a condition called hemolytic anemia. They treated that with steroids and immunosuppressant drugs. Though I am now officially in remission, I do have to be careful about catching diseases. Hence, I mostly stay home (and on the computer.) The weird thing is, I actually feel pretty decent, healthwise. I do hate the weight the steroids packed on me, but as long as I can get back to normal by my birthday (I want to fifty and fine) I'm going to try to take it all in stride. I figure if none of this stuff (not to mention the other stuff that happened before and during) killed me, then there must still be an unrealized purpose for my being here. God, or the alignment of the stars, or my family, or my friends will eventually reveal to me "that which I need to know." In the meantime, I'm trying to wait patiently and be grateful that each day that passes brings me one more towards the five year cured mark. And that's enough for now...
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#10974 - 08/26/05 09:36 PM
Re: About that cancer...
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Member
Registered: 01/27/04
Posts: 1423
Loc: Warrenton, Virginia
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Well that's quite a story and you need a great big HUG (consider it offered!!) for all that you have been through. I'm praying you will indeed be "Fifty and Fine" - and "Fine" for a VERY long time to come. You've definitely had more than your share of health issues. You are absolutely right though - you most certainly have more to accomplish on your "mission" here in this life....you're still here after all you've been through and that's proof positive!
Thanks for sharing.....I LOVE your attitude! That's more than half the battle I believe.
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#10975 - 08/26/05 11:43 PM
Re: About that cancer...
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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quote: Originally posted by Fiftyandfine: I figure if none of this stuff (not to mention the other stuff that happened before and during) killed me, then there must still be an unrealized purpose for my being here. God, or the alignment of the stars, or my family, or my friends will eventually reveal to me "that which I need to know." ]
IMHO, your shared story of courage shines hope and inspiration into the lives and hearts of others who might be going through their own struggle with cancer and/or multiple surgeries. Sometimes, that's all it takes to help someone hold on long enough to get to that next bend in the road, which then leads to the light at the end of the tunnel. And that alone is "purposeful" enough for me...heck, just "being" is purposeful enough for me. And I for one am glad that you continue to be!
quote: In the meantime, I'm trying to wait patiently and be grateful that each day that passes brings me one more towards the five year cured mark. And that's enough for now...
I went through exactly the same wait while slowly and painfully recovering from a devastating bout of depression. Some of us wondered if I was ever going to be able to make it out alive. My psychiatrist even told me that he had never seen anyone make it all the way back from as far down as I had been, but that if I could make it to the three year mark, we could call me "recovered". I did, and that was 17 years ago. So it was quite a celebration making it to my own "fifty and fine" in July. I hope and pray that you DO make it to your "fifty and fine" and well beyond! [ August 26, 2005, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]
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#10978 - 08/30/05 03:31 AM
Re: About that cancer...
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Member
Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 154
Loc: FL
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Aw shucks, y'all, One of the reasons I don't usually talk about my condition is that,well, it just all sounds so pitiful, doesn't it. And I just hate to have people base their relationships with me on "poor me." Not that I haven't had my share of pity parties along the way, but these days, I just try to move forward an inch at a time. It's completely selfish, of course, but one thing I do love about this board is that I never have to feel like "I'm the only one." It's sad that so many have had to suffer, but so helpful too. I continue to be grateful that I happened upon the BWS site, and to all of you.
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#10979 - 08/29/05 10:33 PM
Re: About that cancer...
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Member
Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
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quote: Originally posted by Fiftyandfine: And I just hate to have people base their relationships with me on "poor me."
Fifty, I understand what you mean by that statement. I had a cancer when I was in my thirties and I got over it. Still people sometimes refer to me as a "cancer survivor."
I don't ever refer to myself that way. For one thing I figure I not only survived, I conquered and now I want to walk away triumphantly. For another thing, like you, I don't want to be known for what I have 'survived,' but for what I have 'achieved.'
'Cancer survivor' is neither what I am or all I am.
If you accept that title, everything you do is forever centered around that one experience. It's like someone saying "you look great." And about the time you begin to 'feel' great, they add, "for your age."
If you become known as a "cancer survivor," everything you do is measured by that and you have to live with it forever. I want to move on beyond it.
smile
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