I am not angry. I think concerned would be a better word. Concerned about her care and whether we should send her back to this facility. Mom has been in this present facility since March. During this time I have seen a serious decline in her condition but since she CANNOT communicate well (occasionally she can pull together a few words) I just thought it was her physical condition..period. She is unable to move her entire right side. Anyway, I need to speak to this administrator about whether his facility is a safe one for my mother-in-law to return to. I need to talk to him about whether I am going to be taken seriously when I say there is something wrong, please get to the bottom of this. I don't know that moving her to another facility is the answer. Most places are understaffed and overworked. But, we have to find somewhere for her where she will be safe and taken care of.
Glenda and I go over in the afternoons and Merwyn goes over to see her at night. Merwyn has begun a fast for her. Last time he fasted for her she made a startling recovery. (Maybe we don't take prayer and fasting seriously enough). I will keep you posted as to her condition. Thanks for your prayers and concern.

I should add that I found signs of neglect at the other facility she was in. She would sit for long periods of time with food in her mouth (she couldn't remember how to swallow) and the entire front of her shirt was soaked from drool. She fell out of her wheelchair because she had been sitting in her wheelchair for so long, her mouth was cracked and bleeding from lack of oral care and more. I know I can look at their "rating" book or whatever it is called to see how many violations they have against them. I think I will ask to see the report book when I go over on Monday. I know there is a website to check these things as well. They will only keep her at the hospital until she is stabilized. I suppose if we drop this facility and they don't have anywhere to send her, they will just have to keep her longer, ay?
Smiling: Mom has a feeding tube and also cannot move to reposition herself. The charge nurse said that they have a few patients (my mother is one of them) where they have to anticipate her needs since she can not tell them. Sigh...what to do, I don't know. But I do know SOMEONE who does. I thank God for a husband who takes his relationship with the Lord as serious as Merwyn does. I know we will receive wisdom and insight on what to do. (Remind me I said this if I get discouraged, k? )

Lala, it is so difficult to know if a loved one is suffering the expected complications of aging or if they are not receiving appropriate care.

However, it is the job of the facility staff to anticipate the needs of patients who are unable to communicate. A professional should recognize the special needs of any patient with a feeding tube and limited movement and she should immediately initiate treatments to prevent further complications.
A feeding tube makes hydration a fairly easy to address problem. Of course she may be receiving diuretics for a heart condition or some other condition and that must be taken into consideration. Perhaps adequate fluids are not being ordered or maybe they are not administered. The nurse should note the amount of fluids administered and the condition of her skin on each shift in order to prevent dehydration before it becomes critical.
A professional nurse should also anticipate a need for repositioning a patient who has limited movement. She should be repositioned every two hours to prevent pressure sores. Sometimes patients develop them anyway, but repositioning is about the only preventative along with hydration and nutrition. Her nutrition may also be a factor and she may need vitamins and special formula feedings.
Her mental state should be noted on each shift to serve as a marker for her over all condidtion. Changes in mental functioning is one of the first signs of changes in hydration, blood cell count, blood sugar, infection, and many other conditions.

Aging is such a difficult thing and sometimes it is hard to know what to do and then to take action.
Sounds like your husband is doing the one thing that can be counted on to always be right.
Fasting and Prayer.
smile

God Lord, this is so hard to read and then to realize how many elderly persons are ending their days in this tragic state. It is like looking in the mirror of our own lives and hoping above all hope that ours if a different end. I use to think getting old was an honor of sorts when you think of the alternative but now I'm not so sure dying young would be worse than withering away neglected by the forces that be. Is this what we have to look forward to? I hope not...I pray not.

I agree with you Chatty Lady,
I have fought and fought for the rights of my mother . Nursing homes I don't care where they are or who runs them they are not the place to be if you don't have to go , but we never know when we will have to go.

I hope that when I get old or older then I am now. I just go in my sleep . Peasefully. Calm at all times in talking with the staff in the homes . I have been there and back. Keep you in my thought and prayers.
Nancy

lalapaloosa, my heart goes out to you and Merwyn for the heartbreak of watching your MIL in such a painful and deteriorating situation.

You mentioned that her hand was hugely swollen on the side of her mastectomy. This is called lymphedema and, in worst case scenarios, can lead to amputation. Her insurance should cover an elasticized compression sleeve; otherwise they run ~$55 and she should wear it all the time. Also, she should not get injections or blood pressure taken on that side because it will make that condition worse. Whenever you see her, please raise her arm in the air and move it for a few minutes.

I didn't want to cover up the other post that is going, but I wanted to give an update on mom.
Mom is doing very badly. She isn't even opening her eyes. Just lies there. We have decided that if she has not improved by the 31st the feeding tube will be removed on November 1st, and she will just be made comfortable until she dies. Now we are in the process of planning her funeral. I don't think she will be alive more than a few days after the tube is removed. Our prayers are that she will pass on before they have to remove the tube. Merwyn's sister, Glenda, had to be the one to make the decision since she has medical POA. I know she will just beat herself up and feel like a murderer (her words) if they remove the tube. I know it is what mom would want. Please, keep Glenda in your prayers. Thanks

Meredith,
Thanks for the information. I didn't realize you had posted until today.
We have had a lot of trouble getting healthcare people to even pay attention to the fact that she has had a mastectomy on her arm and should not have bp/ivs etc on that arm Her arm is still swollen from LAST month when she went into the hospital. I took a hot pink 3X5 card, cut it in half poked four holes in the corners threaded green yarn through the holes and tied it on her arm with the words "NO CUFF ON THIS ARM!!!" It was still on her arm a couple of days later and had done the trick. But, then we were there a few days after that and a nurse came in to take BP on that arm. I said, "no, no no!!" And I asked them to post at the head of her bed no anything on that arm.

I'm praying for Glenda. She's in a thankless position. I'm praying your MIL feels blessed and affirmed for the remainig days of her life. May God give all of you strength!

I am joining Dotsie in praying for you and your family. That is such a diffucult position for Glenda. She needs all the support and prayer she can get.

Blessings to you all.
smile

sorry to arrive so late to this board and post my support, though I've been following the story. I've added these situations to my prayer list.

My heart is with you.

Di