Oh, Gimster, you are NOT monopolizing this thread and I am so glad that you are asking the tought questions.

Your "friend", not you, sounds narcissitic. Only thinking of himself all the time. Is there anyway to get this person out of your life? You don't need to be grateful for helping him out time after time after time. You could be grateful that you are different than he is and that you care about others.

What else could you find in the situation to be grateful for? Maybe you don't have to live with him. Maybe you could be grateful that you have the manners to say no.

If you said no to him, even one time, you could be grateful for learning to say no. Just because someone asks, doesn't mean you have to give. Then you could also be grateful for taking care of yourself.

And, you don't have to start bring gratitude into your life in the toughest situation. Look for what is working in your life (you have friends, here), what beauty you see in the world around you, in you (for example, I believe you could be very grateful for your stick-to-it-ness and you keep reading and trying), in the good stuff that is in your life.

Start smaller. Start simple. Keep being your beautiful, open self.

Anno

Gimster,

I agree...we love your questions...Anno is right...you don't have to start out being grateful for this ungrateful, demanding person in your life.

Start out being grateful that you have heat or air conditioning...don't even think of him...be grateful for the fact that the sun is shining or that you're getting much needed rain...don't even think of him...

I'm not one who thinks you have to find the thing to be grateful for in the moment of a bad situation...when something unpleasant is happening it may be too overwhelming to be grateful in the moment...but maybe there is something else you can be grateful for...

Later, when the dust settles and you're feeling less hurt...then you can look for the good in the relationship...

You might make a sunshine list of things that you are always grateful for...when things get you down...pull out the list and have a look...it'll make you smile...

We love you and I'm grateful that you're here!

I am honored to be on this forum observing the positive support of all the ladies for Gimster. See what gratitude can bring about? Thank you all and thank you Gimster for making this happen. Kathy

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

FEBRUARY - HEART

At the center of our innermost being
Heartache occurs, courage emerges,
Intellect directs with reassuring words,
Hearts soften, compassion stirs.

The longest journey with the shortest distance
Surrender head to heart, master resistance,
Make loving and giving an accomplished art
Become one song, one beating heart.

I AM SO GRATEFUL for being true to myself.
I measure my life in good deeds done,
Instead of how many years I've lived,
I live from my heart instead of my head,
Giving heed to the genius that lies within.

(Excerpted from "Gratitude Works: Open Your Heart to Love)

Eileen

Now, I am crying. I AM taking notes. I've been carrying a pencil and paper around with me in my pocket... writing things down... and I'm digesting all you are saying.
I'm on the reply writing pad, so I'll have to thank you collectively on the advice you've shared, as I can't respond (at the moment) to everything covered, but I am remembering names (I think I remember correctly) - HL, Anno, JCarrol, Kathy, Dotsie, chick -> God Bless you all!

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day, Gimster, and everyone else here at BWS. I am so grateful for all of my friends here online. Love to all.

I once had a negative person in my life who drove me crazy with her negative outlook. This was prior to my summer that I taught myself to give thanks. I got upset most times I spoke with her because she dragged me down. I made a choice to keep my mouth shut when the negativity began. She quickly realized the conversation was going nowhere. It helped because I wasn't feeding the negative thoughts. I hope this helps.

Since my summer of teaching myself gratitude, I would now speak up and say something like, "I choose to focus on the positive. There's enough negativity in the world and I feel healthier when I focus on the positive and count my blessings."

Of course, there are negative situations that I must talk about and manage. Everything isn't a bowl full of cherries. But now I try to address them in a more positive way by seeking help for that issue.

Thanks to everyone for jumping in on this topic. It's so helpful.

It's amazing what is happening here. Boomer sisters able to help heal someone who is hurting and in the author's forum at that. Dotsie must be led to choose just the right person.

Gimster, somedays I'm grateful for what we take for granted like a roof over my head, food to eat. I just started a gratitude journal because of this thread. Today, I'm grateful that you are here and finding your way.

Eileen,

That's beautiful!

Hi everyone, Happy Valentines Day!!! I thought some quotes might be fun.

"We're all in this together by ourselves." (Lily Tomlin)

"We are members of a vast cosmic orchestra in which each living instrument is essential to the complimentary and harmonious playing of the whole." (J. Allen Boone)

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not." (Mark Twain)

THE TRUTH IS: "Inspiration is everywhere. If you're ready to appreciate it, an ant can be one of the wonders of the universe." (Anonymous)

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day and wish for you peace, love, joy and happiness. Gratefully yours, Kathy