We have all the chance here to forge friendships.
I want to ask how you have handled friendships which have "died" I have an issue with one friendship where I feel taken over.This started quietly...it is an email/snail mail friendship of many years (we have met and shared holiays) are of similar age.This is a gradual thing.It saddens me but I am insightful that this friend has issues.
I keep upbeat and open she is contacting me often at present but if she were local I would call and discuss my feelings.
Mountain Ash

Mountain,
I have no real advice but offer a suggestion. If you value this friendship, it might be best to confront the issue before you become too resentful to save the relationship.

TVC15
just sharing my dilema was insightful to me I value all relationships and learn from them all.My issue is where
I am not "heard" but discounted.I have to say things three times and then maybe I am answered.But to be dismissed.
EG. last autumn I requested that we reassessed exchanging gifts.For several reasons.We are now both retired.I have started to support a local hospital and wished to gift money for Christmas use to the childrens ward.The cost of posting is enormous.Mosty I have decluttered and have a non material attitude to belongings.This was ignored .other issues of a more sensitive nature have started.One...where a quote was send by email.I asked her to define the content feeling it went on my "hallowed ground" She seems unaware of bounderies.I have pondered if she is unwell .
Thank you for your reply..
Mountain ash

Mountain, if you are wondering if she is unwell, have you asked her? Also, have you shared that you feel unheard? I'm not suggesting this if you think she needs you right now, but is there a way to step away from the relationship for a bit. Maybe, just take a little break? If so, she may ask you why and then you could tell her...

This is just off the top of my head. I'll think some more.

Dotsie
stepping back is the option I would select.This is easy she is not from the UK.I suggest I say I am too busy to email for a while. I will never hurt her but need to care for myself just now.I a aware of the part I am in this..but honour bound I come from an authentic stance.
Dotsie..your site is a source of support.Thank you.
Mountain ash

Mountain,
Feeling dismissed or discounted is probably one of the worst feelings. Dotsie may be right. Taking a step back may force her to confront you, and then maybe she will listen to you when you speak your mind. I do realize that there are some people who will never listen though, and she may be one of those.
Your hospital support is wonderful. Keep up the good work.

Mountain, One of the most difficult things I've had to deal with in the past few years is the losing of people I thought were good friends. I went through a major breakdown - grief, depression, chronic fatigue - that lasted for several years. Coming through that forced me to strip away a lot of mental/emotional/mangled thinking - I think I "grew up" in that fight for my life, but many of my friends didn't stick around long enough, or couldn't grow with me, or couldn't accept the changes. I don't blame them, but the end result is that I lost pretty much all but two of my former friends. I regret losing them, but without genuine, authentic reciprocation, which in hindsight was never really there anyway (like you, I had long felt dismissed, discounted and definitely unlistened to), those friendships were keeping me "in my place" more than giving me the wings to be who I needed and was meant to be. HERE is where I've found more wings and encouragement than in any of those former friends.

Anyway, a long-winded way to say "be true to yourself". Your heart knows whether or not this friend is where and who you want to be with these days...there's nothing wrong with recognizing that it no longer works.

Have you considered that it's more than her not being well but just selfish? I had a friend like that and I just stopped communicating. It was too exhausting. She didn't want to talk to me but at me. Never heard anything I really said.

Just a thought

Friendships should be uplifting, not exhausting. Unreciprocated friendships are just not worth the effort. No one should ever feel dismissed by a friend. If you are feeling that way, perhaps she is not really a friend.

I admire Scott Peck.His work on group work tells of the patterns of relationship.In amongst groups there is chaos.Etc. As a counsellor I have academics backup at my fingertips BUT the realisation (there is an ongoing saga)tells me I have to step back.Its sad..like a little death.For my own peace of mind I will tackle this soon.
I have learned so much from this experience.
Mountain ash