Thanks, so much ladies! I did go to my boss today and did get an endorsement deal it's an extra 75 bucks a week!

I do think the Good Lord is leading me. I also got a call to MC a huge charity event, doesn't pay, but it will put me in front of the mega "movers and shakers" in this city.

Chatty Lady...I took your advice and read through that thread. I am a chicken-poop! LOL!! For now, I'm divising a plan....a long term one...I'm not going to cut off my nose to spite my face. For instance, hubby doesn't know about the endorsement gig, I'm gonna squirrel that cash away to aid in my "escape plan".

I know he is terrified of losing me again and although it feels manipulative, I'm going to let him worry. I feel guilty for not being emotionally supportive of him, but maybe (yes, hope springs eternal with me...), it will motivate him. If not, I've got my own action plan in place.

I'm also putting a cd together and see if I can't pick up some spot work. (commercials) I've given this such "the college try"...so why am I feeling so guilty? For now I think I will play this out via a "role reversal". I am getting my own checking/savings acct and will tell him he can get his own,too and we will split all expenses, or he can fork over his check to me and give me full responsibility over the funds.

There, at least he gets a choice. *heh heh heh* This would be a lot easier if he was a jerk regarding the kids, but he is an awesome father. I think there are inner demons he is battling with and I'm his wife, not his mommy or a freakin' therapist.

He can be the wife for now. Gee, I hope he makes something good for dinner and creases my pants! *smirk*

Okay, not feeling so much like a wishy-washy chickenpoop now!

Ohhhhh if he's the wife, do I get a penis? *I'm sure Freud would have a heyday with that one...*

Okay, thanks for the support ladies, you have kept me from sticking my head in the sand...

Thanks for the referral to the singlehood thread, chatty. It made me feel better, too.

foundhervoice-atlast

Hugs to both you brave women who came to Boomers and were given the support needed and the info that you were/are not alone. You need to be supportive of you and your children, starryeyes, he's suppose to be the MAN and since he isn't doing it you have to, penis or no penis, yuk, yuk

startingover and starryeyes, I hope you both are doing well. How about an update?

Well ladies, I was going to wait till next week when I had a little more info but here's what I know today.
1. Unless God miraculously intervenes the house will be sold out from under me on April 4. He refused to help make a single payment and I ran out of extra funds to stay afloat. I have a couple trying to purchase for less than what I owe, but we still don't know if the approval will come in before the sale date.
2. I still have not had a day in court to force him to help pay any of our bills (1.5 yrs and waiting) New court date is April 7.
3. This means I have to move all of his stuff and mine since I don't know what a judge will decide in court. If the judge gives it to me then I could sell it all to make some $$. So today I rented a storage unit for one month I will move all his things there and move mine to a rent house.
4. I move this weekend (4 days before foreclosure sale) to a rent house one town over. It was God at work to get this place! It is a rent house owned by someone in my church, they got notice of the tenant moving out less than 24 hours before I called to ask if she had anything for rent. Since she knows me she is not asking for any deposit, and I can keep my best friend and faithful male companion---my dog!
5. Soon-to-be-ex will be sentenced in Federal Court April 21. I have been told the talk around the court house is that he will get 5-6 years.

If everyone could continue to pray I would appreciate it. He continues to fight that he shouldn't be responsible for any of our bills. I know he has bought a brand new truck and racked up hugs amounts of credit card debt that he has no way of paying back once he is in prison--why he would spend knowing he has no way to pay is beyond me. Attorney seems to think he may be planning to have his debts roll onto me when he goes to jail. If he can actually do that--(we were married at the time debt was incurred and I know he used my social to get one of the credit cards--then I will be forced to file bankruptcy too.

Despite everything and how bad circumstances are, this was the best thing I have done for myself. I am weary of the battle but know that ultimately the battle is won through the Lord. I continue to rest in Him and trust Him for my needs.

I don't want to discourage those at the beginning of the process--it has been worth every moment of pain and stress because I am free from a debilitating and destructive relationship. I was lonely every day I was married--but I haven't spent one single day or night being lonely since. I am alone but not lonely--it is a curious thing but God has definitely stepped in to comfort me. He can for you too.

I would leave all of his belongings in the house. Why should you go to that extra effort? Let them rot.

You sound strong in spite of everything. I will be sending positive thoughts your way.

Filing bankrupcy is not the end as so many think but a new beginning. It is not something one does lightly but in your casse and if these bill collectors come after you then FILE. You needn't lose your car or anything else you want to keep even with the new laws. Make sure the judge knows what he is doing and maybe they can tack on some time for fraud which is what he is committing. Good luck to you.

Starting Over,
You are such an inspiration. Staryeyes, if you have not read her story, you should. She is a an incredible woman who has endured unspeakable pain and with the help of her faith is now coming out on top.

Starting over, I'm with Dianne only I would see if there is anything at all worth selling in his stuff and if so sell it. Let him sue you. From prison?

It seems like all this stalling in the court system for his trial is not only causing you tremendous pain, it may be endangering children in the community.

I wonder if the media might be of some help to you. Maybe they could get the court system in gear. I'm sure you don't want your children's name or yours thrown around in the media, but your husband's name will be out there anyway if he ever gets to court. Amd maybe even a threat of public oversight would get the court going.

Gee, that's probably a crazy idea, but it is just so irritating that the legal system is causing you problems when your soon to be ex is the one who is a criminal and possibly a danger to the community.

Still praying for you.
smile

There is a part of me that wanted to leave his things--kind of a 'serves him right' attitude. But there are things that are his family heirlooms that I need to return to his family. I don't know how his family is going to react to me--I haven't talked to them since this happened--I wasn't sure if he was honest with them and didn't want to break their hearts.

There is the opportunity if the judge says he gets those things to have my actions still speak with a Christ like attitude. If this is the case I will surrender the storage key (after he pays for the month's rent!)

And if the judge says I get everything then I can sell tools and lawn equipment and recoop some of my financial losses. If this is the case I will call an auctioneer to haul away and send me a check after auction.

In any case, none of the things in question are going to my new place. I don't want him to know where I have moved to. And from a spiritual point I don't want any 'thing' that might be attached to his belongings coming into my new home. Just packing his office made me sick to my stomach. I have had several people in to pray through the house but that room still bothers me.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. Please keep me covered for divorce court April 7 9am central time. Thanks all!

We make marriage vows on what we believe to be true at the time...that our new husbands will abide by what we know to be loving and supportive actions on their part as well as ours... When one or the other break those vows for whatever reason, they are just that - broken. Neither God nor Jesus ever recommended that you stay with someone who beats you, commits crimes, is abusive verbally, emotionally, or physically or who commits adultery (remember, even in biblical times, this was grounds for divorce) there is no reason to feel guilt for the dissolution legally of something which has already been dissolved.

Take back your life....and keep as much financial security as you are able - your children need this and so do you. I'm with Dianne here, let them rot. Write his parents about the family heirlooms - altho why would they intrust such valuable items to his care? - take the rest and sell them. Yes, let him sue you. Just try to be sensible, not emotional - tho I know this is hard, you can do it...

Searcher