I have decided to take a break from the forum. I feel a bit sensitive at this time and think that time will be good for me.
One thing that stings me is that I seem to attract straight forward personal questions when I am sensitive as anyone about my life. I notice that others are careful of the feelings of members but I feel a bit hurt.

I may be in the public but I have a small, small private life. I protect that life with all I have. I even sign my posts, if you notice, with a nickname, dancer, even though I provide my website.

I do this on the advice of those that handle me. If I post on a forum, I try to post in a nickname and not in a name. I am strick about this if you notice. Seeing my name stated on the forum throws me.

I like this forum very much and my husband is shocked that I feel this way and need a break as much as I am.

But, I am feeling very sensitive and feel a need to pull in a bit. I'm not sure how to solve my problems with how things are here for me.

I have been straight forward with personal information but it is getting to a point where I am feeling interviewed. I am also feeling challenged at times.

I am here to help and recieve help, to be a friend and to make friends, like everyone else.

It hurts me to leave for a break but it is all I can think of to do at this time.

Best,
dancer

Dancer,
One of the things I've found difficult to figure out in any online community environment is how to establish boundaries. I belong to another community where they know almost nothing about me, because there isn't the same spirit of respect as here. So in that environment, it's not safe to share too much, and so most discussions are superficial and not very rewarding on any level.

When I stumbled into BWS, I was very broken, lost and lonely. I needed to share that part of me in order to find out if this was a safe place for me to be in that condition. I became an open book, and my trust has never been betrayed here. The women here have consistently shown respect, responded with compassion and prayed for/with me throughout many rough patches.

But it's a reality, that the more we share, the more vulnerable we are. And in this environment, it's not always clear to us just where the boundaries lie - it's not even always clear to each poster where she wants/needs to set her own boundaries, and therefore it's almost impossible for the community at large to know where some people's boundaries are - until it's too late and we've unknowingly crossed that line. I would dare to say that it RARELY ever happens intentionally here. I can't imagine that anyone here has deliberately set out to hurt you, or to betray your trust in us, or to trespass beyond your boundaries.

But it happens, unintentionally, perhaps even inevitably, given the depth of sharing that does go on within these cyber walls...I think it forces some of us who are more highly sensitive to pull back, recenter ourselves and then come back, perhaps with clearer boundaries set in our own minds - that will therefore be more clearly defined within our posts.

Whatever is at play here, I'm sorry that you're hurting - I've been there, and I know that when it involved this place, it hurt even more. I hope that you will be able to come back. You must know how much we love and appreciate your presence here. If we have crossed a line, I'm sure it has been out of caring to get to know you better or a genuine desire to be the friend to you that you've been to so many of us here.

I feel like I'm not being very eloquent or articulate here. I just hope you're feeling better and will find your way back to us...you are loved and wanted!

Dancer, I must be the blonde here because I'm not sure what you've just said. I'm not sure what you mean by the statement that you feel you are being interviewed.

Has someone approached you in an unkind way? A post that was invasive? Said something maybe in a private message? I'm just not sure I understand what is going on here. For whatever reason, I need you to know that your feelings are very important to this forum and the members here. If there is something we can do to help, please let me know.

Dancer, I am as shocked as you say your husband is. He must know how much we benefit from your presence. Eagle, you were as usual eloquent and articulate. Eagle, you wrote "I'm sorry that you're hurting - I've been there, and I know that when it involved this place, it hurt even more." I did not know you experienced that, and I'm sorry too. We don't know the tone of voice here, but I've never witnessed malicious activity. I once was upset by another's activity. She had been a friend; we had exchanged cards, etc. The women here helped me see that it was my stress that was causing my upset, and not anything intentional on her part. That was a learning experience for me. I learned that we were valued enough for others to reach out and support me and her even though I had messed up. The friend and I have since PM'd and all is well. Dancer dear, I don't understand the feeling of being interviewed or of being challenged. I see questions as getting to know you as you are getting to know us, or questions in a "how to" way, ie. how do you do this, how do you do that? I for one do not know of your public life other than as you say a dancer. I did not even know what a Master dancer was until you explained it to me after I had asked in a post. You invited us to visit your site, where I mentioned here the amazing art you create. Many of us PM each other, read each other's profiles here, and visit each other's sites and blog. I think that is part of the networking, interest, and support we show each other. We learn each others' names, and it is easy to transpose inadvertantly. Yes, your name appears in your post "signature" and it is not difficult to see that and subconsciously write your name when addressing you in a post. You've certainly given us 100 percent of your support, warmth, and compassion. You've created new topics that are interesting, thought provoking, and some that are just plain fun, like a slumber party. So I hope you read this to know that you are valued here, and you are an integral part of this community. Love, PL

Dancer, I am shocked too. You seemed to be a very open person. I must have missed something. I've not seen your name in any post, other than your sig line, as PL mentioned. And, I hope it wasn't me that appeared out of line. I know that I can seem forward sometimes, as I've claimed to you before. Nothing I've said was meant to hurt, if it did come from me. I speak freely, but it's just the way I communicate. I had a major faux pas Sat. when I told one of my mom's friends she was "nutty"... I meant it in the best way, but I could tell by the look on her face (she's 88), she was taken somewhat aback. No matter what I said afterward, I couldn't seem to mend the air... and I really did mean it as a compliment - she and her 91 year old sister are SO MUCH FUN to be around.
Anyway, when I couldn't log on today (until earlier, when I got knocked off as soon as I got in) and then again at this hour, I thought I had been restricted some how. I was hurt, but kept fighting the feeling, knowing it couldn't possibly be what I was thinking. Talk about feeling weird and outcast!

You are valued here, as the others have stated. Take a breath if you must, but never leave. We luv ya girl. You are one of us now!!!!!!

Dancer, I too am sorry that you feel hurt from something that happened here (which I also am not aware of.)

You are a valued member of our community and will be missed. I hope your respite gives you the healing you need.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, dancer on this forum. Just based on your profession, as a dancer, I've learned alot. I've never known a real professional /performing dancer...and yes, you folks have it tough for something you so love to do for..many years. I appreciate your integrity to remain true to your values within your profession amongst...the crowd at your end.

My interpretation of your openness is by telling whatever you wish about yourself, you also want to help others they are not alone and that they should not stop fighting and loving as you have so well demonstrated.

I appreciate your creative problem-solving approach to the world and to other people By the way, to also help them improve themselves physically with respect and minimum fuss.

I suspect the questions aimed at you at times, are more from a need for clarification. But you know, you are in control. Thx for reminding us of your limits that as Eagle pointed out, being more open, does mean more vulnerable.

With this group, I don't reveal as much as like because the Internet is so open. There are also certain facets of myself I can't expect this group of women to understand...given the general demograhics of this group.

I do seriously wonder why there aren't many educated East Indian, black, aboriginal women on this forum. I say well-educated, because most likely such women would be most articulate and able to talke "western"/"north american". This group represents..but a tiny universe of a broad incredible spectrum of women.

As a result I end up not offering much on certain topics. Just too volatile. Is that productive? Probably not, but if I want to remain a well-behaved member here.

I hope you come back soon. Come back at least in time for Valentine's Day.

I’ve announced several times that I have to take a break from the forum for professional reasons…but I can’t stop completely. I always find a few minutes to check in and post .

I can’t recall seeing any post with your real name in it, Dancer. If so, I’m sure Dotsie could delete it. Oh WAILLLLLLL …don’t go! You have so many brilliant contributions here, and you’re always opening new topics.

I have no idea who you really are. You are the Dancer at this place and will always be swirling around from one post to another….I hope I hope I hope...now tap your foot to that beat!

Personal bounderies are important.
Mine were breeched by someone recently.Yet the core of the forum holds such special people that like Hannelore I continue.Its important to know how much to disclose and open up......Yet doing this allows us to evolve.Cultural norms are also important as is humour.
Dancer I think your posts stand alone as an on line magazine.. makes me feel "One of the gals"
love and blessings whatever you do.
Mountain ash

I think we have to approach forums as we do most things in life...cautiously. I also keep in mind the intent of a post and especially the fact that I can't see facial expressions or hear tones of voice. Misunderstandings can occur just by the nature of those two things...guess that's why emoticons were developed! We are all different but I've never seen a forum like this before. It is emotionally closer, it seems, than anything I've ever encountered. I will always wish and hope for (eventually) a time when possibly this, or some threads, can go private. Being out there on the internet for all to see has an underlying discomfort, at least to me. Meanwhile, there are always PM's and internet chat for those who want to talk one on one. Dancer, I haven't seen anything disrespectful to you either. But I have no idea of your personal sensitivities other than what you've said here and of course, I don't know if you've received hurtful PM's. If that's the case, perhaps you should talk to Dotsie or JJ. You are a vital part of this forum and adored. Please, please let us know if anything would make you more comfortable. And DO come back and try. Sometimes things will blow over. If you were wanting to take a break just for the sake of that, that would be one thing. But it appears that's not the case and it involves you being hurt. Please deal with the cause and bless us with your presence again soon! You're loved!