Girl, the fact that you say, "I'm tired of crying" says you are on the road to recovery. Good grief, I can't remember reading about anybody so screwed up as he was, and is... you are fortunate to be out of it (I hope that doesn't sound insensitive) and my guess is you have so much living to do, so many new things to try, and guess what? Life is just waiting on you... to truly live again.

When your soul is ready, celebrate. You've earned it. We will gladly celebrate with you. What a strong woman you are!

JJ