Jane, if I have anger I can physically feel it in my body more then mentally. It can be compared to a weight pressing on my shoulders. I guess this is from my therapy with "Dr. Bob" because I felt lighter after my sessions end and could easily recognize when that old part of me is trying to return.

I belonged to a book club in Ohio and one of the women told the group that she was having a problem with another woman (rightfully so, it was a verbally abusive friendship) and she was having trouble forgiving her. The women were offering her advice and prayer and my big mouth jumped in and said, "It's a choice. You decide to forgive or not forgive and you do it in your heart." It's really very simple.

Lynnie, sadly, I have no problem passing a DQ! As a matter of fact, I got a chocolate dipped cone yesterday. I decided to go back in history while visiting Scottsdale years ago and drove by our home there. Not a good thing. Made me sick to my stomach and took me back in time. I also have a problem with driving down Hayden Road there. That was close to where we lived and where he terrorized me in the car.

David and I went to dinner by Lake Wayzata and afterward, sat by the lake, watching the boats dock. It was a trigger for me and I had to leave. I still have a small amount of PTSD that will rear it's ugly head but my shrink told me to continue to open myself to this and it will leave.

Anno, I see no reason to ever force ourselves to be friendly with an ex and especially when the kids aren't yours and his--together. When I forgave the abuser, he took it as a sign that I still cared for him and was trying to "romance" me. He was married at the time too. Knowing him, he was having problems in his marriage and needed another woman on the hook after his wife left him (she did).

It's okay to walk away forever. Like Jesus said, shake the sand from your sandals, when you do. Leave it behind, where it belongs. It and they, were an experience that we learned from...hopefully. So many women don't and will connect with another abuser because she hasn't gotten to the root of the problem, which is her attraction to the abusive personality. She MUST find out why, when, how, so she can break the pattern.