Hi, Smile, thanks for the clarification. How upsetting. This situation sounds awful. Symptoms would be any kind of “acting out” behavior like hysteria…though I’m not sure I’d use that word. But emotions that seem very powerful yet not consistent with what is going on at the time. For example, I would go into uncontrollable weeping over a seemingly “innocuous” event, because what I was REALLY reacting to was the past--but I didn’t know how it. Then, behaviors/symptoms such as drug abuse, alcoholism, eating disorders, sex addictions. Numbing of feelings. Not being in touch with authentic feelings. For example, before recovery, I had plenty of anger, but it wasn’t directed at the appropriate person: my father. Rather, I’d get angry at myself or others.

In terms of how to respond to the mother when she confides in you--maybe just let her know that you’re her friend and are there to “hear” her. In other words, regardless of the topic, I frequently find that what a person wants isn’t so much advice, but, rather, just someone to listen to them. These situations are tough, though, I know. Sue