Hi, Dotsie, I know my book can be scary to read, which is all the more reason why I am deeply touched that you’ve read it. Thank you.

And you’re not being nosy with your questions, not at all. This is why I've been looking forward to participating in this forum, to have these conversations with all of you!

Yes, dealing with the fact that my mother didn’t protect me was a huge part of recovery. In one of the previous posts we talked about anger, and I definitely had a great deal of anger toward her—anger that I had to work through in recovery.

Actually, my mother and I had one brief conversation about what happened. I was in rehab at the time, feeling a bit safe, and I said something to her like: “I was sexually molested as a child.”

And she responded something like, “Oh, your father. Well, we didn’t know about things like that back then. And I had a terrible childhood, too.”

Can you imagine? So, after this conversation, it was clear that there was nothing else I could ever say to her. But I’ve found that a “real” confrontation isn’t necessary for recovery. I mean, it’s an individual choice: some people I know feel it’s important; but I discovered that, for me, I didn’t have to. I mean, what’s more important is that I’m emotionally honest within myself, that I “confront” these issues within myself.

And if I HAD tried to confront my father I would NOT have received an apology! He probably would have gone into a rage, which would, in the end, have been more hurtful to me.

Anyway, for those of us who write, we get the last word anyway, don’t we?! Sue