Dianne, did I even come close to answering your question???

All I know is that I've "chosen" over and over and over again to feel happy, but it doesn't happen, especially not when I'm struggling with clinical depression. I don't believe it's possible to simply wish oneself out of depression, to choose to feel happy, and then to actually feel it to the extent that we're "healed" of our depression. Would that work for cancer? Why do we expect it to work for depression?

We can choose to MASK our sadness and despair by wearing smiles and cheerful faces...others will prefer that...and sometimes we might have to do that to co-exist out there, especially in families and work-places. But it's essential that we not lie to ourselves. Acting enthusiastic doesn't always make us enthusiastic. Wishing with all my heart to be happy and praying buckets of blood sweat and tears has never yet taken my depression away. In fact, it usually makes me feel worse, because I'm wasting precious energy by focusing on an impossible quick fix.

I've always had to go the long way around...in conjunction with prayer and with God by my side all the way...treatment, therapy, rewiring my attic, taking the necessary time for mind and body to heal...I come out stronger on the other side and more equipped with truth, self-knowledge and compassion to help me battle the next bout if/when it hits.

I probably still haven't answered the question. I guess I think "no", happiness (especially in relation to depression) is not a simple choice and we do a great disservice (another cruelty of kind intention?) by asking anyone who suffers from depression to believe that it's that simple.

[ September 28, 2005, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]