Smile-- I'm glad that writing about your confusion is helping you find clarity. (I hope my responses haven't been sounding too preachy.) For some situations, it just takes time to figure things out, for all the pieces to fall into place. It took me two years to get clear about leaving my first husband. When I finally packed my bags and left, I was still not absolutely sure about my decision. The following day, I went back. I thought maybe I hadn't tried hard enough to make things work. But when I walked in the door, I saw that my ex had already rearranged the furniture! There's more to the story, but the bottom line is that by the end of that evening, I was crystal clear that I needed to leave him. If I hadn't gone through that whole, painfully agonizing process, I might have always wondered if I had made the right choice.